Posts Tagged boehner

Better Off Than Fifty Years Ago? Foolin’ the People About America and The Rise of Obvious “Truths” … It’s About Creeping Corporate Insertion Into Every Aspect of Your Life.

Peaking in the Sixties, Starving for Prosperity, The Compassion Gap, Starving the “Beast,” Humbug for the Poor, Democratizing the Hate … Your Money or Your Life

Culture War, Class War, Chapter Fourteen: Better Off Than Fifty Years Ago?

Peaking in the Sixties

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Better Off Than Fifty Years Ago? Part One: Peaking in the Sixties

Obvious “Truths”:

  • Americans are innovators and problem-solvers.
  • There’s nothing Americans can’t do, no problem we can’t solve, once we put our minds to it.
  • Things just keep getting better in America
  • Republicans are for small business.

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So unfortunately, after Reagan instituted “voodoo economics,” with prices on health care and pharmaceuticals going through the roof along with the sudden unexpected increases of other necessities of life, you had that lowered standard of living we have now become accustomed to for the great majority of Americans. You had a population that was poorer, in relative terms, and got increasingly poorer.

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Over time, over the course of my lifetime, though we might ostensibly have appeared to prosper we did not. The apparent rise in standard of living was a result of the glut of new consumer items produced in an increasingly technological and complex culture. 955830597_092af7676dYou might be able to afford plenty of cheap trinkets and toys, but for things that pertained to your well-being and quality of life, such as health and medical care, good schools, wholesome food, higher educational opportunities, a clean environment, recreational opportunities, fuel and energy, leisure, family, and quality time, and so on we were ever more wanting.

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Peaking in the Sixties

In retrospect I can see we prospered in the Fifties and Sixties. The records show that Americans achieved a peak of affluence in the Sixties and that since then, and rapidly accelerating since the Eighties, we have been on a downward slide.

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Poor Mothers Could Afford to Stay Home and Take Care of the Kids.

ason504l6a00d8341c579653ef00e552b0f6fb8834-800wiI can see the ways we, living in the Fifties and Sixties, were as a culture fairly well off, though personally my circumstances were anything but that. My father made only fifty dollars a week for a time. But my mother never had to go to work. She actually did get a part-time job much later in life for the enjoyment of it. Can anyone today imagine that?

How Much for That House? Ok, Let Me Get My Wallet.

My father never made over a hundred dollars a week until later in his life he actually started his own small trucking outfit…that’s another story about who are the real job creators in America that I get into elsewhere. Yet he bought his home with cash he had saved up. Eight thousand dollars smack on the barrelhead in 1953. He never had to work three jobs to get by either, like some folks have to today. No mortgage on his house and he bought every car he owned—roughly once every five years—also with cash he had saved.

College Educations for Free in the Sixties and Seventies. #occupycollege today

No loans, never in debt and yet five of his six children attended at least some college and two attained at least Master’s degrees. I was talking with my older brother about his college education, which mirrored my own, and we both remember getting by with very little or no debt afterward. We both received enough to cover all college plus living expenses most years just on scholarships and grants—mostly state and federally funded—yet we both attended private, somewhat prestigious, colleges.

I know, millennial generation, but don’t blame us, we’re on your side. #occupycollege.

What’s Health Insurance?

My family didn’t have any health insurance, had never even heard of it. We were not well off, but we like most people could afford to go to the doctor. And similar to others we could even normally pay hospital bills, for maternity and so on. If anything very serious developed that required more money no one ever imagined that they would be turned away at a hospital. The Mercy Hospital in my city, run by a religious order of Catholic nuns and funded by contributions, was a place one could always go regardless of one’s means. Sounds unbelievably quaint, doesn’t it? I know. I can hardly believe it was once that way myself.

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Starving for Prosperity

Better Off Than Fifty Years Ago? Part Two: Starving for Prosperity

Foolin’ the People About America

Obvious “Truths”

  • There is an abundance of food in America
  • There is a huge problem with obesity in America because folks actually have too much to eat.
  • People are overweight because they eat too much.

Starving for Prosperity

“Have Some More, There’s Plenty!”

And my family never starved back in the Fifties and Sixties. The dinner refrain was “Have some more, there’s plenty.” Though we were fairly poor by the standards of that time, I never, ever, ever imagined there being a lack of or limitation on food. There were big restrictions on sweet treats and goodies, but not on wholesome food. So it shocks me to see how much more concerned parents are today about how much their children will eat, as well as how precisely they mete out their gustatory offerings when entertaining.

“You’re Not Leaving This Table till You’ve Eaten All Your … Ketchup.”

When not long ago I worked in a group home for troubled boys I was shocked and distressed to see the controversies over the food portions given and the restrictions on when they could eat. This was a government-funded group home and had to abide by all kinds of minimal standards in nutrition. Still, ever since Reagan determined that ketchup qualified as a vegetable serving, I have noticed this public stinginess about food.

Where I worked, sugared-water drinks qualified as juice, and peanut butter consumption was limited to a thin layer like that of butter that’s spread on bread. Cheap sugar this and thats and nutrient-low, colon-clogging baked goods, noodle dishes, and pizza were the at-hand substitutes for wholesome, more substantial offerings. The resulting blood-sugar swings and erratic, aggressive behavior were handled with drugs and listed within their case histories.

“Please, Sir, Some More?”

There was much more like this but suffice it to say that I could hardly believe the happenings in this Oliver Twist world. My heart went out to those young boys who in this once wealthy land and still surrounded by plenty in this post-millennial, rich suburban California stood near the kitchen with plate in hand, their eyes pleading if they might “please have some more.”

This miserliness about food seems a prevalent thing throughout the culture as it is evident in school lunch programs also. Whereas at the grammar and secondary schools I attended while growing up I enjoyed complete wholesome meals on a par with and sometimes surpassing the enjoyable repasts at home and even seconds were allowed, what is considered a decent school lunch today is shocking. Corporations have taken over as suppliers. Can you believe we had a Joe the Cook in grade school who concocted home-style offerings, which were ladled out by those of our mothers, including my own, who had volunteered?

The Beloved School Cook–Pepsico

Today the school meals are akin to that in fast food restaurants and just as monotonous … pizza, chicken nuggets, spaghetti, greasy burgers, hot dogs, fries. They are not “cooked.” From what I understand, they are taken from freezers, popped in microwaves, and dealt out to pupils like one would cards. The epidemics of obesity and diabetes in our country attest to how much worse is the nutrition for young folks today.

Aren’t America’s “Extermination Policies” Just More Undetectable Than Nazi Germany’s? Starving the “Beast”—That Means You: Your Money or Your Life

Foolin’ the People About America. Better Off Than Fifty Years Ago? Part Three: Starving the “Beast”

Your Medical Payment or Your Life

What else is different now than fifty years ago? Well, there’s people who can’t pay for health care… can’t get health care? …. Now that’s something new for me too. Can’t get health care. Wow. You mean you’re sick, you’re gonna die, but you can’t get help in the medical system? Unbelievable. That used to be unheard of.

I know. You’re thinking, “But we passed universal health care in recent years.” Remember though, we passed universal health care “coverage” … not care. Everyone has to be insured does not mean everyone gets taken care of.

At any rate, none of this “universal health care” has “trickled down” to the very needy as far as I can tell. Now, I don’t know if folks are being turned away from hospitals like they were before it was passed. Folks got refused care for lack of coverage in recent decades. And sometimes they died. (I wonder how many others died while struggling to fill out the forms to apply for health care for the needy? *sarcasm*)

Regardless, health care that is delayed, rationed out, or cut back and denied for certain conditions can be just as much a death sentence as being turned away at a hospital door. Example? After we passed “universal” coverage Governor Jane Brewer of Arizona allowed a change in policy in their state-funded health care to deny organ transplants to those folks who could not afford it otherwise. These were organ transplants needed to save their lives. These people would have received them under some other coverage, but falling through the cracks and being poor—some of them born too disabled to be able to work at a job—they were essentially told, “We can’t afford to keep you alive (we’ve got tax cuts for the rich to pay for).” So they did. They died. Republicans clamored about “death panels” beforehand; then promptly implemented one as soon as they could.

Isn’t this the kind of health care the opponents of “socialized medicine” say we would get if we went to single-payer? Well, we’ve got it folks—delays, rationing, denials, complications … and stress!—without any of the benefits of “socialized medicine.” I’ve watched it take two weeks to get a prescription in Riverside County, California, when it should have taken 45 minutes or less. The folks there handling health care for people who include poor folks on Medi-Cal are so overworked and stretched thin that you need to stand in line, literally stand in line for sometimes four hours or more to get a prescription filled. Think I’m exaggerating? I’m aware of at least one elderly gentleman who collapsed while waiting and was removed on a stretcher. I felt like I was in a scene from the movie Soylent Green, wondering where they were taking this one who had fallen by the wayside.

And the answer is no. No to the other question in your mind: “Don’t they have places you can sit down?” I know of no other place where you have to stand to get your prescription, you’re REQUIRED to stand. But then this is a huge county hospital catering to the poor. It handles many poor people…and it does it poorly. The unwritten rule is, “You’re asking for health care at a discount!? Well, WE’LL MAKE YOU PAY…ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, DAMN YOU!”

Starve the “Beast”

You don’t think this attitude trickles down to the masses from policy on high? Well, you tell me what the policy makers of the 1% are thinking when they say they are going to “starve the beast” of government … continually cut back funds for government services…as a back door way of making government smaller. This is the exact wording they have used, since Reagan, for their policies of tax cuts for the rich that require massive spending cuts on services for poor and middle income folks.

But think now: Just who do they imagine is really that “beast”? And why use the word, “starve”? Yes, the “beast” of the masses, the riff-raff, is being “starved”—being made to suffer for lack of sufficient money for systems and workers so folks can be served faster. With money stretched thin for humane processing systems and employees to implement them, people are refuse…”beasts”…having to stand and suffer.

I wonder how this is not simply a more undetectable way of eliminating in America the handicapped, disabled, and/or mentally challenged than the way the Nazis did it to the same sort of “riff raff” when they got to power during the time of the Third Reich.

Universal Health Care in America? Don’t Make Me Laugh… You Get an “Assumed Doctor” and Like it or You Choose to Die.

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Foolin’ the People About America. Better Off Than Fifty Years Ago? Part Four: But Do You Get a Doctor?

starve the beast

And Do You Get a Doctor?

102792692praying-with-open-hands2_thumb[3]Do you get a doctor, though? Not in this decade you don’t. When I was a child we went to the doctor’s office and paid $7 for a doctor’s visit. Even on my Dad’s $50 a week, that was affordable; and that was the least he made. When you now have doctor’s visits that cost a hundred to three hundred dollars if you pay out of pocket (or more), do you realize how much you’d have to make for it to be as affordable as it was for my Dad? Figure $700 to 2 to 3 thousand a week. Some people make that nowadays, but not the poor. Remember, my father was dirt poor, getting by on $50 a week with six kids.

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House Calls in the Past; “Pretend” Doctors Today

But we got to see a real doctor. We even got a doctor who made house calls. Today? Well you get a pretend doctor who confers, along with a gaggle of other pretend doctors, with an actual physician, then gets back to you as you wait…and wait some more.

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And You Wait

955830597_092af7676dRecently, it took four hours for the visit and another four hours to get the prescriptions at the same hospital in another place…and the prescriptions didn’t all come through until after two weeks and a number of phone calls, as at one point they had to order a common prescription and then lost the order (had no record that it had ever been made; though on several phone calls they referred to it) and had to make it again. And this experience has been common. I’ve experienced it a number of times. I’m trying to acquire health care elsewhere, believe me.

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You Get an “Assumed” Doctor

OliverTwist_6957Did I get a doctor? No. Oh, they call themselves doctors. The last one was more honest and announced when he came in that he was so and so who was a “student doctor.” I didn’t hear him correctly. My mind scanned thousands of files in an instant and what it came up with I just had to ask. I said, “Did you say you are an ‘assumed doctor’”?

And You Like It

tumblr_lv1gf21YZO1r6m1z5o1_500And being “processed” like a piece of meat this way, you get a different “assumed doctor” every time. There is no continuity. You don’t bother to keep track of their names, for it doesn’t matter. You start all over on every visit. The only thing they know of you is what has been electronically recorded from previous visits; nothing human or relational is carried forward. They will tell you it is because all the “assumed doctors” are equally competent and qualified, so it doesn’t matter. Of course that is a rationalization for a system so “starved” of funding the personal touch has long ago been squeezed out in favor of assembly-line efficiency.

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Or You Choose to Die

So what is the upshot of all this. It is that many folks have to weigh getting health care in America—which is claimed to be “available”—against the complications and time of getting it. I don’t have a job, so I was able to persevere. What of folks who have to work full time or more? I was well enough to stand around and coherent enough to make notes and make phone calls. What of folks who are sicker than that?

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The Unspoken Costs of Health Care

2008_09_25_wall_stThe upshot is that many folks are weighing THESE costs of health care when choosing whether or not to seek help. And their decision is leaving many of these folks dead. I know of a number of people who have made such a decision; many of you also do.

Some Are Choosing a “Soylent Green” Escape

I know of one instance where it was even done consciously, for the person did not want to spend what might be her last time on Earth struggling with an insensitive and mean-spirited medical system, so she just opted to let her cancer take her in the serenity of her home and surrounded by loved ones. (Why am I thinking of that movie Soylent Green again? Well, maybe you remember that scene as well.)

Others Are Risking It

passion-of-the-christ-3.lrgrI know I myself weigh these costs in time and suffering and inconvenience whenever I feel I might need to be looked at for something. And very often…most of the time actually…I put off being looked at. ht_pepper_spray_meme_12_nt_111121_ssvI postpone doing tests that are made more time consuming and painful for poor folks (don’t get me started on that); and I often give up in pursuing the treatments and medications that I am prescribed…figuring that putting up with the suffering of the ailment is better than the suffering incurred in its cure. And I am not alone. Will it cost me my life? Perhaps.

Universal health care in America? Don’t make me laugh..

America—Best Health Care in the World
…Before Them

reagan1Now, compare all this with the way it was fifty years ago. hc-gop-prescriptionA friend of mine on Facebook shared how her brother was treated when he had a life threatening injury. This was that long ago and she relates they were poor. She says, they flew in a specialist from Australia to perform the delicate operation. I repeat, they were poor. But then this was all before Reagan…and Nixon. I’m getting to that.

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With the Excuse of “The Game,” Small-Hearted Folks Can Now Flaunt Their Mean-Spiritedness – The Compassion Gap

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“Stop War? Now, Don’t Go Gettin’ All Kumbaya on Me!” … Foolin’ the People About America. Better Off Than Fifty Years Ago? Part Five: The Compassion Gap

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pepper spray 84 y-o occupy seattle 111511 (2)IngrahamSo what happened to our country? We were supposed to be a country that valued human life, for example, but is now valuing contract law over that.

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The Word’s More Important Than The Life

So the word has become more important than the person, and better that people sleep in the gutters or lie out in the park than to lend them a hand. And god forbid when you have children, that one of them get sick, someone have an accident, or someone get killed….

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Rules (Made Up to Benefit the Wealthy) Are Now More Important Than Life

194423-megyn-kellysantellismirkGoddamn it. Y’know, here you’ve got Rick Santelli saying, well they must have put in a kitchen or else they wouldn’t have gotten foreclosed on. Where does he get that? That’s not a fact. That’s a made up thing, just to get people angry.

3001217305_fc96d11d48_bAnd that’s the game. A game that’s not founded on any facts, only played to be won, and it’s won by making the best argument to arouse the most passions, the most negative passions in people, and to find scapegoats.

Stop War? Don’t Be Silly.

eric-cantor24mccain-apAnd this is the kind of thing that was brought up year after year over the decades to the point where it became that the things that I heard being valued growing up were laughable: compassion, if you were caring about people, or not wanting people to die.

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Say, there was a war or something and there was agony over the loss of life. And all these people would gather together out of their concern. I’m sure you’ve heard about it. People anguished and horrified by other people’s deaths and sufferings…reaching out to help them, help each other, comfort each other, pray together…hope…weep.

Oh My Lord, Kumbaya.

380431_10150394611429091_577414090_8854717_513826914_noccupy-wall-street.hippies.crppdYea, a great big kumbaya moment! Wow. And I’m sure that’s what you heard, too. So I get it. Ok, so you shouldn’t have any feelings toward your fellow suffering brother or sister. Is it, what, silly? Uncool? Weak? Wussy? Sappy? What?

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What is it you’re trying to prove to others with that?

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What is it you’re hiding about yourself?

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… What would Jesus have said to that…

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It seems more than the standard of living was lowered since those days. And I’m sure they are in many ways connected…. I’ll get into that later.

Health Not-Care: Democratizing the Hate, Humbug for the Poor, and The Middle Class Is the Last Bastion of Who You Can Give a Damn About

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Foolin’ the People About America…The Middle Class Is the Last Bastion of Who You Can Give a Damn About. Better Off Than Fifty Years Ago? Part Six: Health Not-Care

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Getting back to the change in the physical standard of living that Reagan wrought, though, let’s take for example the increase in health care costs. This is one of the necessities of life, and it’s been climbing out of reach, putting a burden on people, ok? …

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Humbug for the Poor

humbugforthepoorAs I explained in Part Two of “Obvious Truths,” Nixon addressed that problem in the Seventies. He was supposedly helping out the people, the poor…. Uh. But, no, he would never say that. He would never say he wanted to help the poor! Previous to him, in Johnson’s time…The Great Society and all that, yes. That was surely a time when you would hear talk like that. There was actually a War on Poverty then.

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But by the time of Nixon….

So, I guess that’s when it started happening.

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You couldn’t say you were actually going to help out the poor anymore. Because the truism, which I’m sure you all agree with, whether you admit it to yourself or not, is that the poor people deserve to be punished because obviously they’re lazy. Think about that; isn’t that the same stuff that, back in the day, they were saying about African Americans? …

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Democratizing the Hate

Who-reports-child-abuse-and-neglect2889767_370So isn’t it kind of like that racism has become classism? It’s kind of like a hatred that’s not been eliminated because they’re still saying that about people of color, but it’s been expanded. It includes more people–whites and blacks…and all other kinds of colors. All the poor, they’re all now lazy, deserving what they get.

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The Middle Class–The Last Bastion of Who You Can Give a Damn About

So instead what you hear today is like the “middle class”! Well, supposedly the middle class are ok people. They’re not deadbeats; they didn’t put in that kitchen they can’t afford…. Actually they’re the ones who are owning homes so some of them actually are the ones getting those new kitchens.

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Health Not-Care

Nixon Cared About Health…Healthy Profits.

Nixoncared..aboutprofitsSo Nixon’s answer to health care, to help the middle class, he started the move toward HMOs. And remember how it came about. There were actual White House tapes, an actual taped phone conversation of it. You hear Nixon talking to Ehrlichmann. And they are discussing the matter, health care. kaiserexposedNixon is told that Kaiser, and this is the guy who started Kaiser Permanente, jpmone of the top HMOs. He is told that Edgar Kaiser is proposing a “for rich-poorprofit” system of health care.

Now here we have people who can’t afford health care and now you want to have a system that’s going to add to the costs of it. How’s that you say?

Some People Just Wanting to Get Sick Again and Again!

hospitalinternYou say HMOs lower health care costs by reducing overhead? Maybe, but to all necessary costs that are already there, HMOs add the cost of profits to go to the owners of that health care system. Ok?

Also, Kaiser pointed out it would discourage “overuse” of medical treatment. Wow! So, here we go again.

pleasesiriwantsomemoreMitt_Romney_Corporations_Are_PeopleSo now we see that people who need medical treatment are just like those deadbeats, they’re like poor people, they’re overusing medical care. My god! They’re getting sick too much. And if you had a for-profit system, well, they could deny people coverage. And they could deny people medical treatment, no doubt, because they would naturally want to increase their profits.

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GOP-Think. GOP, Think! GOP…Think?

sarahpalinSo guess what? So, Nixon replied, “Well, now that I like.” This is a true story. gop-needs-its-brains-backSo this is a look into how Republicans think.

Well not long afterwards, Nixon gives a speech to present his sweeping new health care proposal. What does he say?

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Remember, there is this obvious disdain for certain groups of people who might be getting too much health care. On the other hand, Nixon is wanting to see that certain other groups of people will make out big time from profits that will be involved.

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But his speech doesn’t go like that. Nixon is recorded giving a speech, proposing a big solution, purportedly to answer the problem of the rising health care costs that are beginning to be felt at that time. He will emphasize that his proposal would be a great benefit to the middle class. [Footnote 1]

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Make It to the Middle Base and You Score.

BaucusMiddlemccainpalinKeep in mind as I was saying in Part Two, there was a time in which influential groups would consider they “had a home run” when they could dor001make a case that their proposal was going to benefit the tea party teaAmerican people. But by this point, because of the culture war and mean-spiritedness being stirred up in the country by Republicans, it had become necessary to single out the middle class as the only ones receiving the benefit, because, y’know, poor people…they’re not Americans.

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Thanks for Those Health Care Savings, Dick! Nixon’s Big Idea: HMOs … for One-Stop Larceny

Foolin’ the People About America…”Thanks for the Health Care Savings, Dick!” Better Off Than Fifty Years Ago? Part Seven: Hit Men for the HMOs

Foolin’ the People About America: Nixon’s Big Idea—HMOs

Thanks for the Health Care Savings, Dick.

So Nixon says he is going to lower health care costs. Well, you can see how right he was about that. Just look at Michael Moore’s movie on American’s health care system if you can handle knowing how bad it got. The documentary, “Sicko,” lays out in brutal detail how devastating it was to inject the profit motive into health care.

“I Was a Hit-Man for the HMO.”

There is one especially disturbing example of this. A former employee of a huge HMO testified before Congress. Crying and tearful she related how she was rewarded for denying an operation that would have saved a man’s life. It would have cost the HMO a half million dollars. Instead, he died; they increased their profits.

In another situation an HMO employee received bonuses upwards of $20,000 for cancelling coverage on people who were costing the insurer a lot of money. She cancelled hundreds of policies, including for those who were scheduled for life-saving procedures. In one “particularly good” year for this person, she saved her employer $6 million. I don’t know offhand how many folks died in exchange for her dutiful and lucrative actions and am not sure I want to. This is hard to look at, isn’t it?

The upshot is these HMO-persons were rewarded for taking people’s lives; and they are in no way untypical. Linda Peeno, the physician who testified before Congress, admitted as much; she admitted her action amounted to a murder, for which she should have been charged but wasn’t. She pointed out how perverse it was that instead the system rained rewards up her. Now you show me the moral dividing line between theses actions of professionals of the HMO and “professional” assassins…mafia hit men. For I don’t see it.

Pay Us Now. We’ll Think About Covering You Later.

Now you might argue that saving money on costly care means there would be more help for others.

But, no. That’s not the rationale. That’s another part of it. They can deny health care on any basis. They can deny it on any basis but they went out and they found more ways to make even greater profits. If you were going to cost them a lot of money, if  what you needed to live was medical treatment that they might consider too expensive, well what they would sometimes do is hire people to look into you. These people would be paid to research your background, to see if they could find something that could be used as an excuse to deny your costly procedures to you.

Michael Moore records in his documentary at least one such researcher who explains, with remorse, what he had been paid to do and how he would go about it. He, and people like him, would pore over your records to look for something, even slight, that they could hang a denial of coverage on. They would in particular look into your childhood for any care that they could say indicated the presence of a medical condition for you at that time.

When they found something, they would be able to say that you had a pre-existing condition and so they were not liable for your care now. They would claim that you lied on your application in not listing such an ongoing ailment so that they could drop you from coverage and let you die.

So people were being left to die, killed in this manner. Does this not amount to more “hits” put out on people by the HMO?

Buuuut It’s Contract Law!!

Did You, At Any Point in the Past, Pre-exist This Application?

Buuut it’s contract law! …dollar laid, dollar played, y’know. And it’s contract law that is stretched to benefit the people with the most money and who have the better lawyers and who can, y’know, twist things better in their favor. Here you have a situation, where, let’s say, somebody is dying and they’re dying of emphysema. I don’t know enough about medicine to know if that would be the kind of thing that could entail very costly care, but let’s just say it did. So this person very ill with emphysema might be informed that it had been discovered, let’s say, that they had a bronchial condition as a child…maybe to them, they were prone to get colds. But they would make the determination that your frequent colds shows a preexisting condition for you. Now you tell me how a person who is dying is going to be able to fight that.

Over Your Dead Body Getting Paid

We’ve all heard Obama’s story about his mother and what she had to go through prior to her death. She spent the last months of her life arguing with the medical insurers over the bills. She was being told they didn’t have to cover her. Are those the kind of final days you would want for a loved one of yours? How does that prospect fit your own view of your last days?

One-Stop Larceny

Getting back to Nixon, at the time of his health care proposal he said huge managed care systems, which he touted as being one-stop medical systems, were going to lower health care costs. This was so, he claimed, because cost sharing and lower overhead would rein in the price of providing medical care. He said these lower expenses would benefit the whole system.

Apparently he forgot to mention the for-profit part, which ended up funneling all those benefits, those lower expenses, into the pockets of the owners and shareholders. That is what happens when you put profit-hungry businessmen in charge of care. Gradually, America’s medical needs were primarily the purview of business, big business.

Remember, again, that the health care law that went into effect under Obama was to make sure everyone would receive coverage, not health care. It remains to be seen how effective this health care reform will be in reducing these sorts of abuses by insurers. No doubt it is better than what existed before. But it leaves intact the profit motive in American health care. So any regulation and prohibitions of abuses are likely to amount to tying down a ravenous beast with bungee cords. It is hard to believe this monster created by Nixon will not break free whenever it can and wreak much havoc before being stopped again…but again with piles of dead Americans in its wake.

You Mean You Care…And You’re Not Paid To?? (Oh, Kumbaya.)

Previous to all this with big business put in charge of the life or death decisions of Americans, much of what was involved in caring for the sick had been attended to by religious and charitable organizations. These concerned social institutions might be dedicated to idealistic or religious principles, for example, which included compassion and caring for the sick as one of their values or one of their religious ideals. So, much of health care had been in the hands of charitable entities and people dedicated to the idea of service, caring for the sick, getting them well, caring for your fellow person, your fellow man or woman, and so on; naturally the type of care you received was infused with such ideals.

But with Nixon all that changed. And Nixon loved it.

Corporations Crowding Out the Mom and Pops … HMOs Driving Out the Private Physician, It’s the Same Old Monopoly Game

International_bankers

Better Off Than Fifty Years Ago? Part Eight: The Monopoly Game Again…It’s About Creeping Corporate Insertion Into Every Aspect of Your Life.

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The Monopoly Game Again: HMOs Drove Out Private Physicians

So then also, these businessmen with their HMOs are having near monopolies; they’re the only HMO providing health care in many areas. The only alternative is privately paid physicians. And these medical providers have costs that have have gone up because of their reduced client base, their patients having been siphoned off by the HMO.

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“Buy One Appendectomy, Get a Second One for a Dollar!”

So private care physicians have the same overhead, and now they’ve got less clientele. In addition to that, now with their making less money and having higher costs, they also have extra costs, of competition, advertising for the first time.

graphic1

“I Need to Take Two Aspirin…I’ll Call YOU in the morning.”

angry-anger-mad-furious-mob-crowd-yelling-hate-blame-blaming-accuse-accused-scape-goatdoctor smileBut that’s only one of the many costs that occur in a situation where you have a small market, with the same number of providers. You have a scrambling with other private small medical practitioners over a smaller pile, which increases not only the competitive costs involved in having to put oneself out imagesthere to win clients from competitors and thus further increases the cost of private care, it also increased pressures and tensions on private physicians who now are required to have two jobs. They have to be medical provider and business person. They have to work longer hours because of this too.

Of course you can imagine what a boon this was for medical care in our country.corp_signs Now you not only have to pay more for private care but also compared to not so long ago it is being increasingly performed by angry, stressed, tense, overworked, underslept professionals. Well what happens when you’ve got those kind of people providing you medical care on the private side?

So, on the one side–the mega-care side, you have them denying you medical care even if you’ve paid. Occupy-Wall-Street-Corporations-Suck-SignYou’ve got them denying you coverage if you have anything wrong, or if you’ve ever had anything in your life and you admit it. You either don’t get covered at all, or you may have paid premiums for years but when you get sick you don’t get treated so you die.

smtn250l

“Take Two Aspirin and Call Me After Tax Time.”

AlperOn the other hand, you can pay the higher costs for private care out of your pocket. And these people are overworked, spending much of their time trying to drum up business and trying to take care of all the increasing paperwork of a competitive business enterprise and that of an ever increasing number of payers. So they’re making more mistakes.

ADS_April 2009-thumb-450x297And more mistakes equal what? More mistakes in medicine means more people dying, by mistake, or having the wrong procedure done, or having the wrong limb removed. The extra stress will push some physicians to “operate under the influence” of alcohol or the readily available prescription mood drugs glutting the market.

aton624l

chiropractorsofficeYou get the idea that things may have been getting worse over the years in a lot of areas?

So with all the extra pressure on medical practitioners, we begin to hear more and more about malpractice. So, another cost is introduced. And medical malpractice insurance for physicians has ever increasing premiums. This adds even more to the price of private care.

The Kind of Care That Increases Suffering

mountain_king_must_die_ii_by_tapsa-d3l5u57So you can see that the suffering of the masses, in both health care systems, is going up. As for the doctors themselves, well now they’re either out of business because they made a mistake or they’re keeping up with the competition and trying to make a living. But now they have these huge malpractice insurance payments. This is a cost HMOs can easily absorb, but for private physicians, it adds even more to their costs of business, their need to increase their fees, their loss of patients, their financial stress.

So what happens? They’re forced out of their professions. Or, they’re minds are filled up with financial considerations and they are burdened with concerns…and now they’re gonna treat you!

Foolin’ the People About America: Republicans Are for Small Business?

Making It So You Need a Car to Do Anything

Globalism-Flag_thumbamerican_slaves36Well, I’ve been around long enough, I saw this before. It’s a pattern of the big guys gobbling up the little ones. It’s the story of creeping corporate insertion into every aspect of your life that you keep seeing over and over again in America. And it’s changed America.

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Back in the Time of Neighborhoods

cash_mob_hawaii_the_sourcearticle-1250214-083FF92D000005DC-736_306x423There was a time when there were no supermarkets in America. I remember that time. You used to be able to walk up to the corner, walk down the street, and you’d see bakeries, drug stores. There were penny candy stores, there were meat markets…. There was a wonderful ambiance of community about it…it was a garden of delights…people smiling and everything.

Drive to the Store, Get a Loaf of Bread.

And now they have these huge mega supermarkets. And I saw the way it slowly changed; it didn’t happen overnight.

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Republicans—On the Side of the Mom-and-Pop Walmart

Those supermarkets — run by hourly wage workers — could beat mom-and-pop prices. Gradually over the years we don’t have meat markets, bakery stores….

And Republicans say they are for the small businesses, the backbone of the middle class. Well, 050-786949store2this is an example of just what a lie that is because, no, supermarkets are not small businesses. It’s all those meat markets, bakery stores and all that–those are the small businesses, they are the mom and pop, those are the average Americans trying to be self employed. Self-employment is not huge corporations.

2010_02_25-Walmart

Continue with Culture War, Class War, Chapter Fifteen: Money Madness

Return to Culture War, Class War, Chapter Thirteen:
The Great American About Face

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Footnote

1. For a humorous, hard hitting aside on this callous attitude of Republicans, on behalf of the rich, and as contrasted with Democratic efforts, check out this audio monologue of mine, “You’re Turning Down my Money for ME!…To Stare Down…Who?!!”: Likely Constituent’s Response to Republican Governors Who Turned Down Unemployment Money from Stimulus to “Score Points” Against Obama“ below.

This four and a half minute clip is taken from the longer, 35-minute audio, “Naked Republicans Blue Meanies Fleeing or Looking Foolish.”

You’re Turning Down my Money for ME!…To Stare Down…?!!…” –Comedy Monologue, audio clip by SillyMickel Adzema

Here is the audio clip of my comedic monologue. Click on the link to the audio site above or click the link to the audio player below. The script for this piece is included below the player, fyi.

http://ecdn0.hark.com/swfs/player.swf?1305835355

About the audio above

[From July 2009] What a riot these Republicans are. There was Louisiana, Alaska, Arizona, South Carolina, and Texas governors refusing stimulus money to “show up Obama.” Then they turn around and ask for it secretly, or as in the case recently with Texas, which turned down almost 550 million in unemployment extension money at the time, only in this last week (7/14-7/18) to ask for a loan from the federal government for about 440 million, get this, to pay for extensions on unemployment. HA!

bobbyjindelfakesmileWell, in this clip, I play a constituent of the Louisiana governor who went nationally to say he was going to turn down the unemployment money from the stimulus. Now, if you’re a Louisianan, and you’re on unemployment…hmmm…just imagine how freaking happy you’d be to hear that! Well, that is what I express in this clip.

Keep in mind this happened just after this governor had given the (horrible) Republican “response” to Barack Obama’s unofficial “State of the Union” address in January. And this governor, Governor Bobby Jindal, at the time was being touted big time as a presidential front-runner for the Presidency in 2012.

You’re gonna love this response to the self-serving “more principles-than-brains” political one-upsmanships at the expense of their constituents by these Republican x@#&%$%#@@# governors.

And the text of the “You’re Turning Down my Money for ME…” audio:

Ok, so now I’m one of those “constituents.” I’m thinking…

Thanks a lot, bastard, you think I got it easy? You jerk! Who the hell you think you are down there in Louisiana, Mr. freaking Governor who don’t need no additional unemployment money. No, idiot! You GOT a job! It’s me that can’t find work and that’s worried about my kids getting sick and, well, now the almost certainty, by the way because of your stupid-assed spiteful action to turn down my money for me. Now, I ‘m gonna lose my house, worry about my kids staying healthy, but you’ve done what? You’ve stood up to Obama (the guy who was gonna give me money?) You’ve said we don’t need no stinkin’ money and made yourself a spectacle on the national stage and, you think (here’s that lying again. You screwed us over and then you’re thinking you can tell us that we were better than that or something of other of a slick confusing fog of insanity.), and you think that this will give you a leg towards the Presidency.

Well, Mr. Jerk-off turning down my money for me like it’s my pride your fighting for, do you really think we are still that stupid, still that happy to be burdened and crushed for your aspirations, which obviously don’t include, you’ve made that damn clear, doing anything for any person, any “constituent, any citizen, no, not anyone” and it’s clear that our burdens are so meaningless to you that you will heap misery on us to do, now what was that again? You “stood up” to Obama? What the fuck, are you in grade school? Do you think I give a shit who’s staring who down? I’m trying to live a life; a life that you have just put a cloud of unhappiness and worry over that will not go away form many many years; in fact I may never own a home again.

But I won’t go on about things that cause your eyes to glaze over. Just let me ask you this Mister, wise-potato? You “stood up” to the guy who’s gonna give me money, and hold out his hand to me. Ok, Mr. more principles-than-brains, what’s your next big plan? Oh, I see, you’re gonna stand up to, well, Santa Claus. Oh, yeah, I hear it all right. Out on the National stage; spoutin out as if you’re talkin our mind; shit, you ain’t even one of us. But I hear you:”

“Nope, Mr. Matthews, you see we’re Louisianans? Not beggars. We don’t need Christmas. We can take care of ourselves. Let you folks out there have Christmas. I mean, if you’re so weak. So you’ve had it your whole life and now you’re kind of like addicted to it. Well OK. I’m not going to talk down any on those who are obviously so weak and needy.

But, you see, Mr. Matthews… Mr. Matthews, well let me put it this way, you ever come down to Louisiana? Ever? To visit or anything? You have? So you’ve met with some of our citizens, have you? You have. Well, then you know what a strong-willed, strong-spirited, and PROUD people we are down here, don’t you? You agree. So you see that’s why. I knew you would agree because it’s so obviously true about the folks that live down here, I didn’t see how you’d miss it.

So that’s OK, let Santa go somewhere else where he’s , you know, where they’re the folks that need to have a handout and can’t get by the year without having a good time. No, my constituents are strong-willed, and they wouldn’t have me letting any squirrely funny-suited guy out here prancin around and lookin foolish. Well, not us. We’re not foolish. We’re PROUD.


The Rise and Fall of “Obvious Truths,” Part Three – an Audio Reading by SillyMickel Adzema

Here is an audio of the author’s impassioned reading of this part. Though it is of the first, unedited and unpolished version, and it does not contain all the detail of its current form below, it does capture the flavor of it all. I offer it here for your listening pleasure. For the reading of this part, “The Rise and Fall of ‘Obvious Truths,’ Part Three,” click on the link to the audio site above or click the link to the audio player below.

http://ecdn0.hark.com/swfs/player.swf?1305835355



Continue with Culture War, Class War, Chapter Fifteen: Money Madness

Return to Culture War, Class War, Chapter Thirteen:
The Great American About Face

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Universal Health Care in America? Don’t Make Me Laugh… You Get an “Assumed Doctor” and Like it or You Choose to Die.

my-internet-meme-homage-to-the-pepper-spray-cop-4152-1322161716-67

 Foolin’ the People About America. Better Off Than Fifty Years Ago? Part Four: But Do You Get a Doctor?

 starve the beast

And Do You Get a Doctor?

102792692praying-with-open-hands2_thumb[3]Do you get a doctor, though? Not in this decade you don’t. When I was a child we went to the doctor’s office and paid $7 for a doctor’s visit. Even on my Dad’s $50 a week, that was affordable; and that was the least he made. When you now have doctor’s visits that cost a hundred to three hundred dollars if you pay out of pocket (or more), do you realize how much you’d have to make for it to be as affordable as it was for my Dad? Figure $700 to 2 to 3 thousand a week. Some people make that nowadays, but not the poor. Remember, my father was dirt poor, getting by on $50 a week with six kids.

Beast1

House Calls in the Past; “Pretend” Doctors Today

But we got to see a real doctor. We even got a doctor who made house calls. Today? Well you get a pretend doctor who confers, along with a gaggle of other pretend doctors, with an actual physician, then gets back to you as you wait…and wait some more.

candorville2073280060509

And You Wait

955830597_092af7676dRecently, it took four hours for the visit and another four hours to get the prescriptions at the same hospital in another place…and the prescriptions didn’t all come through until after two weeks and a number of phone calls, as at one point they had to order a common prescription and then lost the order (had no record that it had ever been made; though on several phone calls they referred to it) and had to make it again. And this experience has been common. I’ve experienced it a number of times. I’m trying to acquire health care elsewhere, believe me.

bhtv-2011-10-06-mw-rf

You Get an “Assumed” Doctor

OliverTwist_6957Did I get a doctor? No. Oh, they call themselves doctors. The last one was more honest and announced when he came in that he was so and so who was a “student doctor.” I didn’t hear him correctly. My mind scanned thousands of files in an instant and what it came up with I just had to ask. I said, “Did you say you are an ‘assumed doctor’”?

And You Like It

tumblr_lv1gf21YZO1r6m1z5o1_500And  being “processed” like a piece of meat this way, you get a different “assumed doctor” every time. There is no continuity. You don’t bother to keep track of their names, for it doesn’t matter. You start all over on every visit. The only thing they know of you is what has been electronically recorded from previous visits; nothing human or relational is carried forward. They will tell you it is because all the “assumed doctors” are equally competent and qualified, so it doesn’t matter. Of course that is a rationalization for a system so “starved” of funding the personal touch has long ago been squeezed out in favor of assembly-line efficiency. 

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Or You Choose to Die

So what is the upshot of all this. It is that many folks have to weigh getting health care in America—which is claimed to be “available”—against the complications and time of getting it. I don’t have a job, so I was able to persevere. What of folks who have to work full time or more? I was well enough to stand around and coherent enough to make notes and make phone calls. What of folks who are sicker than that?

titanic

The Unspoken Costs of Health Care

2008_09_25_wall_stThe upshot is that many folks are weighing THESE costs of health care when choosing whether or not to seek help. And their decision is leaving many of these folks dead. I know of a number of people who have made such a decision; many of you also do.

Some Are Choosing a “Soylent Green” Escape

I know of one instance where it was even done consciously, for the person did not want to spend what might be her last time on Earth struggling with an insensitive and mean-spirited medical system, so she just opted to let her cancer take her in the serenity of her home and surrounded by loved ones. (Why am I thinking of that movie Soylent Green again? Well, maybe you remember that scene as well.)

Others Are Risking It

passion-of-the-christ-3.lrgrI know I myself weigh these costs in time and suffering and inconvenience whenever I feel I might need to be looked at for something. And very often…most of the time actually…I put off being looked at. ht_pepper_spray_meme_12_nt_111121_ssvI postpone doing tests that are made more time consuming and painful for poor folks (don’t get me started on that); and I often give up in pursuing the treatments and medications that I am prescribed…figuring that putting up with the suffering of the ailment is better than the suffering incurred in its cure. And I am not alone. Will it cost me my life? Perhaps.

Universal health care in America? Don’t make me laugh..

America—Best Health Care in the World
…Before Them

reagan1Now, compare all this with the way it was fifty years ago. hc-gop-prescriptionA friend of mine on Facebook shared how her brother was treated when he had a life threatening injury. This was that long ago and she relates they were poor. She says, they flew in a specialist from Australia to perform the delicate operation. I repeat, they were poor. But then this was all before Reagan…and Nixon. I’m getting to that.

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Continue With With the Excuse of “The Game,” Small-Hearted Folks Can Now Flaunt Their Mean-Spiritedness – The Compassion Gap…Better Off Than Fifty Years Ago? Part 5

Return to Aren’t America’s “Extermination Policies” Just More Undetectable Than Nazi Germany’s? Starving the “Beast”—That Means You: Your Money or Your Life




The Rise and Fall of “Obvious Truths,” Part Three– an Audio Reading by SillyMickel Adzema

Here is an audio of the author’s impassioned reading of this part. Though it is of the first, unedited and unpolished version, and it does not contain all the detail of its current form below, it does capture the flavor of it all. I offer it here for your listening pleasure. For the reading of this part, “The Rise and Fall of ‘Obvious Truths,’ Part Three,” click on the link to the audio site above or click the link to the audio player below.

http://cdn.hark.com/swfs/player_fb.swf?pid=gjhxqmkbdn
“The Rise and Fall of ‘Obvious Truths’ Part 3”



Continue With With the Excuse of “The Game,” Small-Hearted Folks Can Now Flaunt Their Mean-Spiritedness – The Compassion Gap…Better Off Than Fifty Years Ago? Part 5

Return to Aren’t America’s “Extermination Policies” Just More Undetectable Than Nazi Germany’s? Starving the “Beast”—That Means You: Your Money or Your Life

Invite you to join me on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/sillymickel

friend me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sillymickel

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Auto Salesman Tells Mr. Boehner About the “Real People” and the “Lowlies” – Class Consciousness Allegory, Comedy

Comedic Monologue with a Twist

I wish to finish this book on a philosophical note. It starts as comedy, which may not either be a bad idea right now after what we have seen together in previous chapters.

Interlude

It seems to me that since this exposition picks up, from here, and ventures into the even more dire, more intense—albeit fruitful and imperative—apprehension of our environmental debacle, this is a good time to step back, to contemplate and assimilate, and to the extent one can, be buoyed up, refreshed, and re-created before the necessary trek into the heart of this darkness. You might consider this the hobbit’s interlude in Elf Kingdom before taking up again the quest, continuing through the devastated land of Mordor to its center, to Mount Doom, where exists the only true brightness in the bleak expanse, the only hope.

Interlude

I’m not Auto Salesman, but I do know him.

This is Auto Salesman’s story. It is he talking. Lest one be confused, this is not me talking. I am not an auto salesman and don’t know the life that he describes for himself.

But I know of it, very well. I was brought up in a very much working class family. I know the class consciousness that auto salesman describes, having it everywhere around me as a child and adolescent…as brothers, father, friends, teachers, coworkers. I also went to a semi-ivy league college attended by many well-to-do students. And I have been a student or instructor at other such educational institutions in my life. I feel I have a little something to say about class differences and perceptions.

Still, this is Auto Salesman’s story, as I said. It came through me from god only knows where. I listen to it and read it with ever more understanding that I did not have when I spoke it a couple years ago. I often perceive it as a stranger would. This is the creation that I feel is the most alien thing that I have ever done, even more a distinct character and different from me than the fawnish character in “Thank You, George W. Bush.”

Not that I am at all unhappy that my muse chose to send it out to the world through me. I thoroughly enjoyed and still enjoy the entire bizarre yet philosophical world this monologue opens to us.

Time for the “eagle’s view”

Still, you be the judge. I can not know very well how others really take this. But I believe it is a powerful understanding, in the end, of the inner worlds that are in play in our national and world dramas at the moment and provides rare philosophical perspective on it all.

Anyway, what this is specifically is a very funny monologue in audio form with the bulk of it transcribed here as well.

Baby, he’s a rich man.

The character speaking is an auto salesman. The invisible non-speaking other, a Mister Boehner by name, is a well-to-do man who is there to buy a car. Lest there be any misunderstanding the fact that he was given the name of the current Republican Speaker of the House has only one significance: I see the Speaker as a despicable representative and voice of the filthy rich. I do not mean to insinuate the Speaker’s actual life is in any way like that portrayed for the rich man or is even so by analogy. I am aware that in fact the Speaker’s life is quite different from the one depicted. However, it seems fitting that since Mister Boehner represents the moneyed elite in Congress his name should point to the wealthy here as well.

This monologue is a bit risqué at times, so be forewarned. However, it is not more risqué than you’d hear on cable TV. The well-to-do patron, Mister Boehner, is constantly teased, and sexual innuendos are used. But this monologue is more than just sexual banter.

In spite of ourselves…

In fact, the monologue uncovers more and more of the character. And despite one’s initial reaction to his crudeness—which could be revulsion, and even if that you can’t help laughing at him despite yourself—the listener is forced to have warmer  feelings  at times, and then more often. This puts one in a position of trying to unravel one’s various feelings about this working class crude person and the “rich” people that are described. 

“Stand-Up” Philosophy

This reading is continually funny and becomes more philosophical toward the end and even a bit poignant. Overall it portrays class or people as complex, and the entire thing could be anyone’s Rohrshack Test, as there may be as many reactions to these people as there are listeners.  As the dialog unfolds the auto salesman discloses and reveals increasingly more of himself. 

The climax is when he tells a story about his boss’s life that moseys into allegory. In that way, the story reflects meaning back into the relationship at the car lot.  The auto salesman’s strange push-pull dialog with the rich customer takes on a deeper meaning. The listener may not know what to do with the feelings evoked…may initially label the man as crude and no-class and later come to see a side behind the crudeness that looks more and more familiar.  Yet there is absolutely no obvious message or bias apparent. How one views the ending is quite unique to each listener.


Anatomy of Class Consciousness
an Audio Reading by SillyMickel Adzema

Here is the author’s audio performance of this monologue of comedy, allegory, and analogy. To hear it, click on the audio site above or click the audio player here.

http://ecdn0.hark.com/swfs/player_fb.swf?pid=xdqhrrmrvm
Anatomy of Class Consciousness – Comedic Monologue, Allegory, Analogy by SillyMickel Adzema


The Transcription – You Get to Laugh Here

“You Really Don’t Want to Leave” Beginning at 1:36 after “oh my mother”:

Now, you really don’t want ta leave without just writin down your name on this piece of scrap paper with this figure on it….

[laughing in background]

What are you laughing about? Ok, well it must be… Ok, as long as she’s with you…

[someone snort laughs]

You lost your wife and you come up with her, a snorter! Aaaaa haaaa! Well, I’ll tell ya. Well, we’ll talk about karma later, Mr. Boehner. Anyway, oooo weeee!

As well! You really should snap it up now, but I hear… I hear ya, y’know—wife and kid dead for lack of HEALTH insurance because you lost your job! And they got two different conditions at the same time! And with all the different doctors for each of them, each getting many tests, since it was thought to be something more exotic than it turned out to be!

And, you having medical…and you having medical but you having to pay out of your pocket for the expenses and you had them see as many as you could afford. But it was not enough.

And now they’re up in heaven. And you got the insurance company money from this tragedy but of course, you’re really hurtin. So, I hear ya. Got it all, didn’t I?

C’mon you gotta admit I did that pretty well, right, Mr. Boehner?

Eh, whatever, Mr. Boehner, I understand. You’re down in the dumps…understandably, I say, understandably.

Hey! I also say, If you’re not allowed to be sad when your entire family all of a suddenly die, all of em, y’know…. Not to mention it bein a lot of it on your head, y’know, cause you’re not being able to provide, as is our job, we men. And darn it I know that’s gotta be the hard ‘en not to think about, I know. I know it would break me, you see.

“Back behind the counter, Mister Boehner…”

Ye, wel…. Uh… Whataya doin there, Miste…. Mister Boehner, come on, man. Now just…. Now, now, na… Ok, now look…eyu….

[long pause]

It’s getting dark out there, yea, I understand that….

[an even longer pause]

[someone sings:] “Oh, my lover…I just…”

Now, Mister Boehner, you just stay away, now. I mean I know you’re… C’mon, man…. The…. I’m just your auto salesman, ok?

En, I know I’ve been awful kind to you, y’know?… And I’ve been talking to you about sex and everything and trying to cheer you up, y’know?… ‘Course you didn’t have to hit me in the face for that one thing, y’know….”

Mister Boehner, well, that’s where I’m not going to, y’know, no, I’m, I’m not kinky, y’know?…. I’m not that way, ahm kinky, man, y’know? I mean, y’know, like I told you last time, I mean, I’m kinda en I’m kinky in the head! But that’s just in the head, y’know? No it don’t comen out, it don’t come out, I mean, I ain’t got holes in my ears, er nuttin like that, I mean, y’know.

Hey!….

So anyway….

Sorry bout that, and….

Y’know….

Not being able to provide for your wife and, eh I mean…I know how it would break me, y’see?

Yea, ya wish I had a buck fer every time that I’ve told….

Every time I’ve told….

[really, really long pause. Sound of lips smacking at times]

“Mr. Boeh-ner, get back be-hind the coun-ter.”

“You might say I made the world the world a little bit more accepting of your right to be grumpy…”

Ok, now. Ah, I’ll pretend that didn’t happen ok Mister Boehner, now, like….

Shew! Man. You guys are…. Where’d you say uh…. Never mind, never mind.

Ok, anyway.

I wish I had a buck for every time I told people that about your havin a damn right to be sad when your family all die off around you suddenly. Leaving you all alone…tsk, tsk, tsk.

Yep, that’s a bad one, no doubt, but you can see that…all those times I was sayin it…well you might say I made the world a little bit more accepting of your right to be grumpy and stuff…right now….

Just a little, of course! I mean…just. Y’know.

I mean, don’t overdo it or anything, y’know.

“Probably doin a lot of…Bible-thumping…”

Hell, I don’t need to pump myself up, I tell ya yer looking at the least of an ego kind of a guy as you’ve probably ever seen. But gotta I tell you, Mister Boehner, we all gotta look out for each another now…don’t you agree?

Like it says in the Bible. It just occurred to me you’re probably doin a lot of…like they say…Bible-thumping lately? Yea, we all get religion when we’re feeling so guilty and sinful, don’t we? Yea, we’re goin to church, Bible groups, and a course we’re prayin like crazy, aren’t we?

Yea, we’re prayin like crazy, aren’t we?… yea….

Ummm…. Yea….

Pray-in fer goin ta church! Prayin for our little girl…who lost her chance…to even have a life? And your no doubt loving wife for….

Seen the picture you showed me and she was the hot one!…WHOOOOO! MAN, YOU DOG! You bagged yerself an anilos, or a cougar, I mean…errr…more than a milf! I mean…erright, she…so she musta loved you, lookin that sexy… [chuckling]

Pretty perceptive, your wife…

I’m sayin this only as a complement to your good taste and your obvious qualities…that she saw in you…that nobody else can see, like….

How cu…how could I see them? y’know i mean….

Ha?…

I guess I’d have to be a hot chick er something though, couldn’t na…not of course…I mean, I…

No I hope you did’t think anything about my little joke. Nah, just plays fer me and maaan! I guess I’m a lot like you that way, you with that hot piece you had….

Guess you’re really, really gonna miss sex with her, huh?

Now don’t get tense, I know you’re sad….

Just tryin to cheer ya up is all!

“Not into anything weird…”

But this way, I mean I like sex and all but I’m not into anything weird or nothing not that there’s anything wrong with that if somebody else is [mumbles] but I’m just tryin ta say that I’m not into anything weird myself. I mean…it ain’t my taste….

But when you showed me her picture y’know I just…got to give you all the credit. You must got some…really powerful hidden charms er something [chuckling] only…only she can see like, y’know, I…don’t you ha…they have dog whistles that we can’t hear? Or it’s too loud for us? Or something?

Don’t wanna be saying anything stupid. That first way sounds too freakin impossible I’m sorry I did it, y’know?…said it, but…. But then it’s funny I maybe I…cin get a smile outa you yet!

Yea! The idea of a dog hearin a whistle that humans can’t hear, christ, how stupid!

Oh, sometimes I guess I…. Don’t it just seem that we all get a little…dim, and need to change our batteries, that’s all.

But let’s not be talkin about me, y’know I really gots to tell you that it’s a tribute to you and it’s the…godhonest truth, I’m not shittin jya, uh, believe me, why, why would I say this unless it were the truth cause like I say I ain’t no perv. Nope. Straight as an arrow.

But that hot babe a wife a yours…

Course, what did ya have to do? What did you have…what did you do….?

Heh!

[part removed]

Would ya have to do send out for the Saint Bernards when you’d lose your way in those mountains?

Yow, what I’m saying but…better not use that phrase any more.

These younger folks, y’know. They’d think I’m an old fart now I bet ‘ey got the same the same kind of joke amongst their own, y’know, friends these days.

But ain’t this a trip I guess the punch line is probably something so different I…. I can hear them talkin to each other ‘s like, “Hey, buddy….

[break in transcription]

Preacher Kid

…her own Dad … preacher guy, you say, oh oh, that’s sometimes pretty kinky. There’s all those guys on TV; then you find out they’re leaving the wife at home to be tappin prostitutes or prowlin or something.

No, nothing. It’s just a funny thing is all. It’s kinda like for the P.K and then for the PK kid, they’re all pretendin that, well, It’s like sex doesn’t exist. Oh, there’s birds, and then there’s bees.

“Looking for good bee and bird”

Now I am gonna have to laugh my ass off. I’m thinking of all these chicks , or guys, I’m not prejudiced, you see. And they’re all these PK kids and they’re now adult; and they start having articles in Playboy about how ya got these folks out a lookin in the country to like score… yo’know, like going down to the Southside for us, but they’re out looking for good bee and bird.

“Want cher best B and B,” I can hear them sayin it. Picture it’s like these Amish dudes, they’s askin. You know they’re now making fake fireplaces and making money hand over fist….

The Transcription – You Get to Think Here

37.30 On

So… Why ya mopin your life or begrudging me a little fun I get. I mean, hey, man, ya practically killed them yourself. With all you had you’d a thought you’d taken better care of them.

Listen, here is my gift to you.

“Lots of Tom Waits Saturday nights…”

So.. yea, got hook nose beak face slopey-headed profile…but…and I’m better lookin than you…but…money’s always a problem…and I won’t be sayin I’m too awful smart though I get by. I’ve had lots of Tom Waits Saturday nights. And I took the advice of the song, and I’m getting pretty ok spaghetti.

I learned to be happy for a nighttime…when the light’s out…and on those occasions when I’m in bed with my ugly wife, I’m sure as hell thinkin about something that looks more like yours.

So, you’re sad. That’s bad karma for practically BEING A MURDERER.

Ha, ha…just kiddin, just kiddin, bro…It coulda happened to anybody…it coulda been anyone of us…WHO HAPPENS TO BE AS BRAIN-DEAD AS YOU…

He he, no, I’m just foolin, I’m just foolin on you…got ya good that time though, didn’t I? he he

No, no, I didn’t mean no…I didn’t mean anything by it… I’m just a little goofin with your mind is all, y’know, like your mommie did, y’know

Peek-a-boo

“Where’s Mommie?” yer askin yerself,. You’re startin to cry, maybe, or begginnin to piss your pants…

Yer sayin, “The whole world has come to an end…” but you remember and never forgot it…and never forget it…that napkin that was dangling in the air…

How bright were you then, Mr. Blackberry, heh heh. Well that’s rich. Come on, Grumpy-Face, are you now gonna start cryin about missin your mommie?!

No, man, just goofin on ya. Just havin a little look-at-the-poor-little-geeky-faced-brain-dead-rich-boy fun…fun with you…

You think us poor folks can afford to have such thin skins?

Well, aren’t you lucky again then!? You think I give a shit anymore if a boss of mine comes in and chews me out for bein stupid for some job I did…callin me lazy or brain dead? Ya think it bothers me listenin to him…with his face right in mine and his words…heavier because of the ninety-proof SPIT that’s email attached to every ungrateful word jamming up my inbox? … Nooo. Not really.

The guy’s a drunk…but he doesn’t know what he’s talkin about. The jobs are done perfectly, to a T. Better than he could ever ‘ve done it in his prime.

“Too rich to think…he could ever…not know everything without having to learn anything…

And even though I’ve never been accused of smart I’d run this business a hundred percent better than this sixty-seven year old snot nose little boy who was born too rich to think that he was just a…human in the end…. Too rich to think that he could ever be so unspecial and unprivileged as to not know everything without having to learn anything.

No. The poor guy’s just a little kid at one time…looks around at himself and his surroundings and then around at every one else and he learns that…what anyone else would conclude…everyone else except the others in his rich circle of specialness is lowly.

So he grows bigger. y’kin see him looking around but ever more down at the other people who are not special and whose lot in life seems to all be about growing smaller and smaller…even as he grows bigger and bigger. He was living on top of this house on top of the hill. He could just see those people far away..and he just never left there. And he just kept thinking, “Man, these people just keep growing smaller every time I get bigger!”

But he thought that made perfect sense. He didn’t know any different. But poor guy actually while gaining in height even grows bigger in girth and, like I said, still comparing he sees even his overweightness as more proof of his specialness and their smallness.

“Magical abilities to know…without cracking a book…divinely inspired…”

His magical abilities to know all the answers without cracking a book…is like intuition or divinely inspired…so his sense of his greatness expanding, his ego swelling like a hot-air balloon…and all the people looking like ants from his place of specialness.

Divine privilege, it is now, and wisdom, and power. As an adult it seems there is but one path, but that’s as meaningless to him as saying there’s only one God…he he he.

But, y’know, he’s surrounded by others who quite magically…it seems to him…and conjuring further is further proof of its truth…as if he needed any, having been letting him know over the course of his life increasingly and then as an adult, without inhibition and doubt, or restraint, amongst themselves that is, letting it be known that in fact they have all the same conclusions…see the world the same way…right down to the tiniest details.

It is so divine, uncanny, wonderful, and more and more just so plainly obvious that he cannot imagine…it simply never occurred to him…that in his infrequent excursions among the Lowly—a term describing the absolutely only way he can see them. And the only way all the so-called real people in his circle can see them too. And it being so obviously true he is sure they all see it.

“They can do no sin…”

So in these infrequent instances of elbow rubbing with the masses, he is confirmed in everything, even by these Lowlies themselves–to their obvious deference to him, their currying of his favor, and friendship, their often lowly, base, slavish lowering of themselves, humiliating themselves in their willingness to debase themselves with a smile and their caving to any and all of his wishes, desires, or lusts, year after year passing, where no longer anything worthy of even a passing thought of this now obviously perfect and righteous structure of the world of living things—God above, but very much alike to himself and the others in his circle…they can do no sin…their decisions are always correct…their understandings of the way of things, always perfectly accurate.

“Below…these…’creatures’…”

And below are these disturbingly base, ignoble, shameless…well…”creatures”…rather. For certainly closer to the hordes of other living things than they are to his kind.

And of course these animal, insect, and myriad other living things being lower still can only be seen as things to be used as resources. For they are eaten as food, forced to do work, to satisfy ‘em… much like the human Lowlies. The needs, wishes, urges, desires, and proclivities of the “real” people.

It’s the universe perfectly in order with all things—animal, vegetable, mineral…everything, indeed, that exists…facing inward as if it were toward the center of this huge circle of everything. And at the center are himself and those like him.

“The only morality…”

The only morality that exists or even could exist he thought once, in a rare philosophical moment, are the things consistent with his obviously truthful, very easy to understand universe.

How perfect. How simple. There is no grief or hardship other than for those in the Circle of Privilege. For anything without had its very reason for coming into existence the fact that it might at some time be brought forth, taken, used, consumed, or in some way allowed to fulfill or play a part in the enhancing of the pleasure, worth, or feeling of experiencing life for those in the Circle.

“No other experience than their experience…”

For in their charity of their truth, there IS no other experience than their experience. No other actually true life, no actually true pleasure, no really existing pain other than those of the Circle.

The other, seemingly living things, in fact, depend upon the ones in the Circle to do the living that they are incapable of…but which as the ones in the circle have observed…they can have a kind of creature or zombie life-sense to the extent that they can mirror, ape, emulate, mimic, fake the experiences of the Real People.

So a phantom kind of experience is that which sustains them and is the goal, source, and reason for their being. But they do not have real experience of their own. They are totally dependent on those in the Circle to live and experience life. As whatever their experience, it is a direct feed from the center.

Thus, the richness of experience in all forms becomes the food for all…the sustenance of life, its only reason.

“Lowlies…place…midway…between lifeless matter and…”real” beings…”

The Lowlies are phantom or creature-like things that have their place in reality, truth, experience, consciousness at about a midway point between the non-living substances—that which is inert, lifeless, matter—and the “real” beings.

There is therefore only two paths in their life. Facing into the world of nonbeing, inert matter, which is obviously their fate at some point; and facing in the direction of the Center, which emanates aliveness, richness, drama, lust, complexity, desire, fear, power, omnipotence, all derivatives of immediate experience.

Morality, for example. Which is defined thusly: What is good is whatever is acted, experienced, thought, or felt by the Reals. So both the Reals and the Lowlies are symbiotically related. The one as source of life. The other as mere resources to serve as the things or toys that can be used or not used.

It is all about what the Reals can desire, imagine, wish for, consume, or want…or make out of things other than them. And that includes the Lowlies.

The Lowlies fix their attention on the Center.

But the Lowlies are capable of a phantom-like semi existence, say, feeding on the actual events and experience, and the sights, sounds, and movements of those in the Center. They therefore face toward the Center, and fix their attention there. For it is the only place from which a vicarious experience, involving the imagining and acting out of that which it is possible for Lowlies to apprehend.

So that was the universe that spawned my boss. One problem in this perfection. Something so horrible that all the seeming benefit of being Real of the Circle of the Source, the Special, became turned upon its head.

“They were the only Deciders…”

You see, in time, gradually, little by little, then more frequently and increasingly, my boss, and others in the Circle, not all–through pure random action or as a result of the events not controllable–who did everything and every resource had as its purpose not just the possibility of being used, consumed, or simply to exist as backdrop for the ones in the Circle, but, for as the Real people saw it, being akin to divinity, perhaps Divinity itself as far as they could tell, they were the only Deciders, Intenders, Planners, Schemers, Desirers, and independent actors.

So it sustained their beliefs of the way of reality to use freely of the resources, either to use lightly, if their intentions, imaginations, and decisions regarding what would happen and exist was of a kind that did not require much of those not them. On the other hand if their desires, intentions, play and so forth involved heavy use, misuse, or destruction, consumption of those not them, it was all the same in terms of the rightness of things.

As mentioned there were things that happened that were not…well, you might say…in the playbook. And this was the big flaw in that entire system.

“What they had to do…is…pretty much stick to themselves…”

I don’t know how long, how many years, it may have been hundreds, that his family and his kind lived that way. But, well, just look around you in this day and age. What they had to do to maintain that idea is they had to pretty much stick to themselves all the time, pretty much not get to know any of the Lowlies. And that was pretty easy, cause if you looked at the Lowlies and you felt that, you know, they were not quite human, you didn’t have any inclination.

But what, perchance, if you’re down at a place in town or something, and perhaps one of the Lowlies is keeping a shop there. And then she should happen to smile at you, or one of the ones in the Circle.

And then she starts…”How ya doin today” and all that. And it’s like, the woman you figure, she’s probably programmed that way and everything but…you got, you see the great smile. And then you realize, she’s like…listenin…and she’s chipper…and she’s…well, that’s the sad thing is that, for all of their drama making and everything, all of their plans of doin this and doin that so that other people could experience stuff…well, the problem with my boss was…and…he had an experience like so many others did or were starting to have, and this was his experience with that girl, y’know?

And he saw her just…in that store…just…singin, being chipper, havin fun…seemin to dance around the store, y’know…as if she was just…happy….

But there was no reason to be happy. Especially not for her. And she didn’t get no happiness from up there…in the Circle. So he was dumbfounded.

“They’d had so many…they thought…experiences…costing lots of money…”

Not only that but the nature of her happiness was so far beyond anything that he’d seen anywhere that was called happiness. They’d had so many, so many…wonderful…they thought…experiences…really well planned out…y’know, costing lots of money and stuff.

And there she was. No money. Nothing. And yet she seemed really happy in a way that seemed more real and genuine than anything he’d ever seen.

Well, that really shook my boss. And…there was a series of those kind of events and….

I don’t know how many people live up in that Circle or even if it exists but my boss got older and he started doing this stuff and I got to be a job with him.

Well, all I can say is there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t seen him…. Heh… funny… Well, he was sayin how they would all say how these Lowlies were livin half lives, like zombies.

“Never seen him as anything but…”

Y’know, it’s the strangest thing, Mr. Boehner, I never…since the day I met him I’ve never seen him as anything but a zombie…bein on booze all the time…

And so… I can’t hate him… I mean, could you? .. I mean…could you? Could your kind….?

I mean…. That’s like kinda like hatin…well…an animal that annoys ya. You don’t go smack a dog around or a cat or nuttin like that just for bein a dog or cat!

And whatever he is, it’s like, he can’t help being himself now, now he’s already it. And I don’t even know if he ever had any choice in becoming it…what he became ‘cause…all’s I know is I never thought much of life and I never…I never…I never so, y’know…thought of myself as close to divinity or maybe God Himself *scoffing* and I never thought everybody around me, oh, could do whatever they, y’know, I could have whatever I wanted. I never thought I had that kind of power or that kind of importance or anything.

So, y’know…so they “Sweep this up here,”and, y’know, “Fix that thing over there,” and, y’know, I say they can say whatever they want I mean, I don’t care.

Perfection in a world like mine…and I get ok spaghetti…

It’s like…I like it, y’know? I like using my hands. I like touching the earth. I like the touch of tools…nice cold tools, and makin nice snappy wrenches and nice snappy sounds as you’re twistin those things around and you’re getting tight, just right perfect snug. There’s perfection in a world like mine.

And, y’know, it’s like, there’s no stress, I mean. Sure, I mean, I ain’t got your kind of wife, I mean. I like got ok spaghetti, like I said, y’know?

And, uh, now how do I compare that…. I ain’t really ever been unhappy really….. Disappointed…. But easy to accept considerin my background and… People around me, it’s like, it ‘s not like, it’s not like I’m any worse than anybody.

So I don’t feel bad really. And…and my boss…I don’t know how it would feel, Mr. Boehner, do you? You’re all the way from up from being a…years and years and years thinkin yer…yer god-like…you’re above everybody…you’re divine, and there’s no…and everybody’s there for your pleasure…and there’s nobody can resist you?

In fact I wonder what happened with that girl. I mean that first girl. I mean, I wonder if she…if he really…he’d ever….

He talked about her a lot. But now that I’m remembering the way he talked about her, it was like, it wasn’t happy after a while, it was like….

“Musta been…she was…happy…said no…had some respect…”

My god, I think that’s what did it. I think it was probably the first time he had an experience where somebody wasn’t fallin all over him, willin to do everything he wanted. It’s…it musta been that she was just so happy and everything and…she said no, and had some respect.

But don’t ya see what all that is from how high…. Can you imagine feelin that superior and dominant? And then comin down and bein..like as if you’re like now like you’re livin with the worms and that’s what you found out you’re more akin to them than the birds in the sky that you were once flyin with? Huh!

So how can I be mad at him?

Is anyone livin’…the real one…?

So what I want ta ask you, Mr. Boehner…you rich folks…pretty wives…unfortunate tragedies… god only knows what kind of sex and imean uh… And you know, us…. And then there’s my boss….

Now, who’s livin the vicarious life? Who’s livin the real one? Or is anyone?

ANYway. Mr. Boehner, you just put that piece of paper down there, and you put your name on it and I’ll have it for you tomorrow, and, uh…. Don’t forget, y’know, guess you’re gettin your ride home tonight, hear it comin….

You’re thinkin about your wife and your kids and everything and…

So remember I’m always on your side, but y’know….

[singin] The dancin’ she do ain’t gonna be with you… hahahahaha….


“Class Consciousness” – Some Important Parts

Auto Salesman Does Perry Como Does the Doors

Description

This is as funny as it sounds.  I did it; and I still can’t stop laughing, especially since it was completely unplanned, an improv off of a screw-up in the reading of “Anatomy of Class Consciousness.” 

When these things come through you in the spur of the moment, when you’re on a roll, you just know that God’s got to be the best comic of all. I don’t know where else this kind of material comes from. I’m still laughing. 

Hey, maybe I can do what auto salesman wanted to do, yea!  That’s the ticket, “SillyMickel does Perry Como does the Doors.” Yea. They’d wait months for tickets to that show.  Yea!

Oh my God, did I just say that out loud. I didn’t did I? No way!! Oh, I did? … (damn!)

Sample Quote

“Oh, man, who the hell, who the hell sings like that, man. That was like the fucking worst I’ve ever sung. Man, where my mind been that I can’t remember the Doors, and somewhere out of the really far past, I’m singing “Backdoor Man” by Perry Como…. Wow….

“But ya know. Somebody’s laughing I think I can make a gig out of this…. Ya know, can’t you see it: ‘Perry Como Does The Doors’”

There’s’ no way that any more can be expressed in text; it has to be heard.

Auto Salesman Does Perry Como Does The Doors

To hear this clip taken from Anatomy, click on the link to the audio site above or click the audio player here.

http://ecdn0.hark.com/swfs/player_fb.swf?pid=wxfdxpxcqw
Image of “Auto Salesman Does Perry Como Does the Doors” by SillyMickel Adzema

The Snorter, Mr. Boehner, and the Auto Salesman

Description:

This is just plain nonsense–a combination of vocal gymnastics and memorable one-liners, super-silliness cut from the beginning of “Anatomy of Class Consciousness.”  The primary speaker is the auto salesman. The invisible non-speaking other is a well-to-do man, called Mr. Boehner, who is there to buy a car. His actions are implied from the reaction of the auto guy. 

As far as who is the singer and who is the snorter, that is the riddle for the listener to try to solve.  Along with how John Wayne managed to walk through…and how come he can’t see. 

Sample Quotes:

“I’ve been telling you about the “filthy rich….”

“You lost your wife and you come up with her, a snorter! Aaaaa haaaa! Well, I’ll tell ya. Well, we’ll talk about karma later, Mr. Boehner. Anyway, oooo weeee!”

“If you’re not allowed to be sad when your entire family all of a sudden, suddenly die, all of them….”

“I know I’ve been awful kind to you…and I’ve been talking to you about sex and all, trying to cheer you up, y’know..course you didn’t have to hit me in the face for that one thing, y’know….”

“I’m not kinky…. I’m just kinky in the head; but that’s just in the head; it don’t come out; don’t come out; I ain’t got like holes in my ears, er anything.”

“Mr. Boeh-ner, get back be-hind the coun-ter.”

The Snorter, Mr. Boehner, and the Auto Salesman

To hear this clip taken from Anatomy, click on the link to the audio site above or click the audio player here.
http://ecdn0.hark.com/swfs/player_fb.swf?pid=vftvxfgqjx
Image of “The Snorter, Mr. Boehner, and the Auto Salesman” by SillyMickel Adzema

Others by Auto Salesman

Auto Salesman Does Como Doing Doors, Update – Aftermath, post-Gig

The following audio is a takeoff from “Auto Salesman Does Perry Como Does the Doors” above. It is not in the larger “Anatomy” audio.

Description

This picks up from the clip “Auto Salesman Does Perry Como Does The Doors.”  It takes the story forward to a time after Auto Salesman has tried out his “special talent” in front of an audience tryin to sell his CDs shopping-network style.

Sample Quotes

“You too can have the full 15-CD set.  Each one packed with eight hours of Perry Como…er, me…doing Perry Como…doing The Doors…Rolling Stones…and Beatles…and, you name it!  Probly got it….”

“Ok, I’ll try something different next time then….”

“I didn’t like those looks I got from the audience…. It was like…I mean…If I was on the G Network or QVC, whatever like that, man.  It’s like, if they had anybody in the audience, it’s like…  Shit, man, and I’d be, I’d have to go run off the stage, and, y’know….  I’d just, y’know…wow, man…Jee-sus.  I mean –  if there’d be more of them they’d be throwin up, it was like that bad, y’know…it’s like…Jesus Christ!  Specially that one woman…she-sh’ dinu’fess at all, man, she like — Wow, man… How’d you get to be alive, you suck….”

“I can’t seem ta think of the tones…  What happened to me…what happened to me I forgot The Doors and I been Perry Como’d and…….they did somethin ta me…when I was a kid…they must’ve injected Perry Como syrup inta me er sumpthin….  I’m telling you they injected Perry Como syrup, I mean they were dishin’ all kinds a stuff fer the kids ‘n… I mean they were conrollin’ those little fucks-i’mean us.. me.. they were tryin ta control us…

“And they would use anything…spankin’ ‘n…sirup…injections…  I mean, I believe it…

“We only caught ‘em on the LSD later on…  We don’t know what they were doing earlier… to little kids… yea, they won’t tell you that.”

Auto Salesman Does Como Doing Doors, Update – Aftermath, post-Gig

To hear this takeoff from Anatomy, click on the link to the audio site above or click the audio player here.

http://ecdn0.hark.com/swfs/player_fb.swf?pid=vrtvpvpdyb
Image of AutoSalesman Does Como Doing Doors, Update – Aftermath, post-Gig

Auto Salesman Speaks His Mind on SillyMickel

This is the last clip in the Auto Salesman series.

Description

This is not clipped from the long monologue and is another spinoff from “Anatomy of Class Consciousness.” In this one, Auto Salesman tears into the author, SillyMickel, talking kind of like his alter-ego.

Sample Quotes

About SillyMickel, Auto Salesman says:

“What’s his big fucking beef? What’s he got against George W. Bush? What’s his beef anyway…better than that bozo we got up there. I don’t know what’s his beef. He says something like, ‘Oh, he says, oh, he says like, oh, I…why, he says…he says,
‘Why George W. Bush, he, uh, he’s behind the Trade Center bombing and it was a government job, all for the purpose of doing this and that, and it killed thousands of people,’

“and, not only that he said the scientists are saying that we only got 20 to 50 years to save the planet, and that we’re all gonna die.

“And I say, “You call them reasons?” ….

“You call them reasons?”  I mean…..

“I didn’t see where that affected MY pocket book one bit!  Now where does he come from? Just because people, just because the whole world’s gonna die…

“I’ll be dead by then, probably…so what the hell do I care?  I don’t think anybody should be caring if it’s not going to effect them!

“Now, as far as the children and the grandchildren … are gonna die in a fiery inferno and whatever  in the next 20, 30 years and all the planet’s gonna be wiped out, now, I think: THEY should be worried! It’s THEIR problem, right? Ain’t my problem…why should I care?

“So, I said to that erudite little fuck, ‘You stay in your fuckin’ jar…well, stop botherin’ me with this stuff about how we’re all gonna die and everything like that because NOBODY cares…If it’s not them, you know, they don’t even care about their children so…what does it matter!?….”

Auto Salesman Speaks His Mind on SillyMickel

To hear this spinoff from Anatomy, click on the link to the audio site above or click the audio player here.

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Image of Auto Salesman Speaks His Mind on SillyMickel

Continue with Apocalypse Emergency –
Part One: Trillion-Alarm Fire

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Class War Comedy, Allegory, Philosophy

Class Consciousness

Comedic Monologue with a Twist

I wish to finish this book on a philosophical note. It starts as comedy, which may not either be a bad idea right now after what we have seen together in previous chapters.

Interlude

It seems to me that since this exposition picks up, from here, and ventures into the even more dire, more intense—albeit fruitful and imperative—apprehension of our environmental debacle, this is a good time to step back, to contemplate and assimilate, and to the extent one can, be buoyed up, refreshed, and re-created before the necessary trek into the heart of this darkness. You might consider this the hobbit’s interlude in Elf Kingdom before taking up again the quest, continuing through the devastated land of Mordor to its center, to Mount Doom, where exists the only true brightness in the bleak expanse, the only hope.

Interlude

I’m not Auto Salesman, but I do know him.

This is Auto Salesman’s story. It is he talking. Lest one be confused, this is not me talking. I am not an auto salesman and don’t know the life that he describes for himself.

But I know of it, very well. I was brought up in a very much working class family. I know the class consciousness that auto salesman describes, having it everywhere around me as a child and adolescent…as brothers, father, friends, teachers, coworkers. I also went to a semi-ivy league college attended by many well-to-do students. And I have been a student or instructor at other such educational institutions in my life. I feel I have a little something to say about class differences and perceptions.

Still, this is Auto Salesman’s story, as I said. It came through me from god only knows where. I listen to it and read it with ever more understanding that I did not have when I spoke it a couple years ago. I often perceive it as a stranger would. This is the creation that I feel is the most alien thing that I have ever done, even more a distinct character and different from me than the fawnish character in “Thank You, George W. Bush.”

Not that I am at all unhappy that my muse chose to send it out to the world through me. I thoroughly enjoyed and still enjoy the entire bizarre yet philosophical world this monologue opens to us.

Time for the “eagle’s view”

Still, you be the judge. I can not know very well how others really take this. But I believe it is a powerful understanding, in the end, of the inner worlds that are in play in our national and world dramas at the moment and provides rare philosophical perspective on it all.

Anyway, what this is specifically is a very funny monologue in audio form with the bulk of it transcribed here as well.

Baby, he’s a rich man.

The character speaking is an auto salesman. The invisible non-speaking other, a Mister Boehner by name, is a well-to-do man who is there to buy a car. Lest there be any misunderstanding the fact that he was given the name of the current Republican Speaker of the House has only one significance: I see the Speaker as a despicable representative and voice of the filthy rich. I do not mean to insinuate the Speaker’s actual life is in any way like that portrayed for the rich man or is even so by analogy. I am aware that in fact the Speaker’s life is quite different from the one depicted. However, it seems fitting that since Mister Boehner represents the moneyed elite in Congress his name should point to the wealthy here as well.

This monologue is a bit risqué at times, so be forewarned. However, it is not more risqué than you’d hear on cable TV. The well-to-do patron, Mister Boehner, is constantly teased, and sexual innuendos are used. But this monologue is more than just sexual banter.

In spite of ourselves…

In fact, the monologue uncovers more and more of the character. And despite one’s initial reaction to his crudeness—which could be revulsion, and even if that you can’t help laughing at him despite yourself—the listener is forced to have warmer  feelings  at times, and then more often. This puts one in a position of trying to unravel one’s various feelings about this working class crude person and the “rich” people that are described. 

“Stand-Up” Philosophy

This reading is continually funny and becomes more philosophical toward the end and even a bit poignant. Overall it portrays class or people as complex, and the entire thing could be anyone’s Rohrshack Test, as there may be as many reactions to these people as there are listeners.  As the dialog unfolds the auto salesman discloses and reveals increasingly more of himself. 

The climax is when he tells a story about his boss’s life that moseys into allegory. In that way, the story reflects meaning back into the relationship at the car lot.  The auto salesman’s strange push-pull dialog with the rich customer takes on a deeper meaning. The listener may not know what to do with the feelings evoked…may initially label the man as crude and no-class and later come to see a side behind the crudeness that looks more and more familiar.  Yet there is absolutely no obvious message or bias apparent. How one views the ending is quite unique to each listener.


Anatomy of Class Consciousness
an Audio Reading by SillyMickel Adzema

Here is the author’s audio performance of this monologue of comedy, allegory, and analogy. To hear it, click on the audio site above or click the audio player here.

http://ecdn0.hark.com/swfs/player_fb.swf?pid=xdqhrrmrvm
Anatomy of Class Consciousness – Comedic Monologue, Allegory, Analogy by SillyMickel Adzema


The Transcription – You Get to Laugh Here

“You Really Don’t Want to Leave” Beginning at 1:36 after “oh my mother”:

Now, you really don’t want ta leave without just writin down your name on this piece of scrap paper with this figure on it….

[laughing in background]

What are you laughing about? Ok, well it must be… Ok, as long as she’s with you…

[someone snort laughs]

You lost your wife and you come up with her, a snorter! Aaaaa haaaa! Well, I’ll tell ya. Well, we’ll talk about karma later, Mr. Boehner. Anyway, oooo weeee!

As well! You really should snap it up now, but I hear… I hear ya, y’know—wife and kid dead for lack of HEALTH insurance because you lost your job! And they got two different conditions at the same time! And with all the different doctors for each of them, each getting many tests, since it was thought to be something more exotic than it turned out to be!

And, you having medical…and you having medical but you having to pay out of your pocket for the expenses and you had them see as many as you could afford. But it was not enough.

And now they’re up in heaven. And you got the insurance company money from this tragedy but of course, you’re really hurtin. So, I hear ya. Got it all, didn’t I?

C’mon you gotta admit I did that pretty well, right, Mr. Boehner?

Eh, whatever, Mr. Boehner, I understand. You’re down in the dumps…understandably, I say, understandably.

Hey! I also say, If you’re not allowed to be sad when your entire family all of a suddenly die, all of em, y’know…. Not to mention it bein a lot of it on your head, y’know, cause you’re not being able to provide, as is our job, we men. And darn it I know that’s gotta be the hard ‘en not to think about, I know. I know it would break me, you see.

“Back behind the counter, Mister Boehner…”

Ye, wel…. Uh… Whataya doin there, Miste…. Mister Boehner, come on, man. Now just…. Now, now, na… Ok, now look…eyu….

[long pause]

It’s getting dark out there, yea, I understand that….

[an even longer pause]

[someone sings:] “Oh, my lover…I just…”

Now, Mister Boehner, you just stay away, now. I mean I know you’re… C’mon, man…. The…. I’m just your auto salesman, ok?

En, I know I’ve been awful kind to you, y’know?… And I’ve been talking to you about sex and everything and trying to cheer you up, y’know?… ‘Course you didn’t have to hit me in the face for that one thing, y’know….”

Mister Boehner, well, that’s where I’m not going to, y’know, no, I’m, I’m not kinky, y’know?…. I’m not that way, ahm kinky, man, y’know? I mean, y’know, like I told you last time, I mean, I’m kinda en I’m kinky in the head! But that’s just in the head, y’know? No it don’t comen out, it don’t come out, I mean, I ain’t got holes in my ears, er nuttin like that, I mean, y’know.

Hey!….

So anyway….

Sorry bout that, and….

Y’know….

Not being able to provide for your wife and, eh I mean…I know how it would break me, y’see?

Yea, ya wish I had a buck fer every time that I’ve told….

Every time I’ve told….

[really, really long pause. Sound of lips smacking at times]

“Mr. Boeh-ner, get back be-hind the coun-ter.”

“You might say I made the world the world a little bit more accepting of your right to be grumpy…”

Ok, now. Ah, I’ll pretend that didn’t happen ok Mister Boehner, now, like….

Shew! Man. You guys are…. Where’d you say uh…. Never mind, never mind.

Ok, anyway.

I wish I had a buck for every time I told people that about your havin a damn right to be sad when your family all die off around you suddenly. Leaving you all alone…tsk, tsk, tsk.

Yep, that’s a bad one, no doubt, but you can see that…all those times I was sayin it…well you might say I made the world a little bit more accepting of your right to be grumpy and stuff…right now….

Just a little, of course! I mean…just. Y’know.

I mean, don’t overdo it or anything, y’know.

“Probably doin a lot of…Bible-thumping…”

Hell, I don’t need to pump myself up, I tell ya yer looking at the least of an ego kind of a guy as you’ve probably ever seen. But gotta I tell you, Mister Boehner, we all gotta look out for each another now…don’t you agree?

Like it says in the Bible. It just occurred to me you’re probably doin a lot of…like they say…Bible-thumping lately? Yea, we all get religion when we’re feeling so guilty and sinful, don’t we? Yea, we’re goin to church, Bible groups, and a course we’re prayin like crazy, aren’t we?

Yea, we’re prayin like crazy, aren’t we?… yea….

Ummm…. Yea….

Pray-in fer goin ta church! Prayin for our little girl…who lost her chance…to even have a life? And your no doubt loving wife for….

Seen the picture you showed me and she was the hot one!…WHOOOOO! MAN, YOU DOG! You bagged yerself an anilos, or a cougar, I mean…errr…more than a milf! I mean…erright, she…so she musta loved you, lookin that sexy… [chuckling]

Pretty perceptive, your wife…

I’m sayin this only as a complement to your good taste and your obvious qualities…that she saw in you…that nobody else can see, like….

How cu…how could I see them? y’know i mean….

Ha?…

I guess I’d have to be a hot chick er something though, couldn’t na…not of course…I mean, I…

No I hope you did’t think anything about my little joke. Nah, just plays fer me and maaan! I guess I’m a lot like you that way, you with that hot piece you had….

Guess you’re really, really gonna miss sex with her, huh?

Now don’t get tense, I know you’re sad….

Just tryin to cheer ya up is all!

“Not into anything weird…”

But this way, I mean I like sex and all but I’m not into anything weird or nothing not that there’s anything wrong with that if somebody else is [mumbles] but I’m just tryin ta say that I’m not into anything weird myself. I mean…it ain’t my taste….

But when you showed me her picture y’know I just…got to give you all the credit. You must got some…really powerful hidden charms er something [chuckling] only…only she can see like, y’know, I…don’t you ha…they have dog whistles that we can’t hear? Or it’s too loud for us? Or something?

Don’t wanna be saying anything stupid. That first way sounds too freakin impossible I’m sorry I did it, y’know?…said it, but…. But then it’s funny I maybe I…cin get a smile outa you yet!

Yea! The idea of a dog hearin a whistle that humans can’t hear, christ, how stupid!

Oh, sometimes I guess I…. Don’t it just seem that we all get a little…dim, and need to change our batteries, that’s all.

But let’s not be talkin about me, y’know I really gots to tell you that it’s a tribute to you and it’s the…godhonest truth, I’m not shittin jya, uh, believe me, why, why would I say this unless it were the truth cause like I say I ain’t no perv. Nope. Straight as an arrow.

But that hot babe a wife a yours…

Course, what did ya have to do? What did you have…what did you do….?

Heh!

[part removed]

Would ya have to do send out for the Saint Bernards when you’d lose your way in those mountains?

Yow, what I’m saying but…better not use that phrase any more.

These younger folks, y’know. They’d think I’m an old fart now I bet ‘ey got the same the same kind of joke amongst their own, y’know, friends these days.

But ain’t this a trip I guess the punch line is probably something so different I…. I can hear them talkin to each other ‘s like, “Hey, buddy….

[break in transcription]

Preacher Kid

…her own Dad … preacher guy, you say, oh oh, that’s sometimes pretty kinky. There’s all those guys on TV; then you find out they’re leaving the wife at home to be tappin prostitutes or prowlin or something.

No, nothing. It’s just a funny thing is all. It’s kinda like for the P.K and then for the PK kid, they’re all pretendin that, well, It’s like sex doesn’t exist. Oh, there’s birds, and then there’s bees.

“Looking for good bee and bird”

Now I am gonna have to laugh my ass off. I’m thinking of all these chicks , or guys, I’m not prejudiced, you see. And they’re all these PK kids and they’re now adult; and they start having articles in Playboy about how ya got these folks out a lookin in the country to like score… yo’know, like going down to the Southside for us, but they’re out looking for good bee and bird.

“Want cher best B and B,” I can hear them sayin it. Picture it’s like these Amish dudes, they’s askin. You know they’re now making fake fireplaces and making money hand over fist….

The Transcription – You Get to Think Here

37.30 On

So… Why ya mopin your life or begrudging me a little fun I get. I mean, hey, man, ya practically killed them yourself. With all you had you’d a thought you’d taken better care of them.

Listen, here is my gift to you.

“Lots of Tom Waits Saturday nights…”

So.. yea, got hook nose beak face slopey-headed profile…but…and I’m better lookin than you…but…money’s always a problem…and I won’t be sayin I’m too awful smart though I get by. I’ve had lots of Tom Waits Saturday nights. And I took the advice of the song, and I’m getting pretty ok spaghetti.

I learned to be happy for a nighttime…when the light’s out…and on those occasions when I’m in bed with my ugly wife, I’m sure as hell thinkin about something that looks more like yours.

So, you’re sad. That’s bad karma for practically BEING A MURDERER.

Ha, ha…just kiddin, just kiddin, bro…It coulda happened to anybody…it coulda been anyone of us…WHO HAPPENS TO BE AS BRAIN-DEAD AS YOU…

He he, no, I’m just foolin, I’m just foolin on you…got ya good that time though, didn’t I? he he

No, no, I didn’t mean no…I didn’t mean anything by it… I’m just a little goofin with your mind is all, y’know, like your mommie did, y’know

Peek-a-boo

“Where’s Mommie?” yer askin yerself,. You’re startin to cry, maybe, or begginnin to piss your pants…

Yer sayin, “The whole world has come to an end…” but you remember and never forgot it…and never forget it…that napkin that was dangling in the air…

How bright were you then, Mr. Blackberry, heh heh. Well that’s rich. Come on, Grumpy-Face, are you now gonna start cryin about missin your mommie?!

No, man, just goofin on ya. Just havin a little look-at-the-poor-little-geeky-faced-brain-dead-rich-boy fun…fun with you…

You think us poor folks can afford to have such thin skins?

Well, aren’t you lucky again then!? You think I give a shit anymore if a boss of mine comes in and chews me out for bein stupid for some job I did…callin me lazy or brain dead? Ya think it bothers me listenin to him…with his face right in mine and his words…heavier because of the ninety-proof SPIT that’s email attached to every ungrateful word jamming up my inbox? … Nooo. Not really.

The guy’s a drunk…but he doesn’t know what he’s talkin about. The jobs are done perfectly, to a T. Better than he could ever ‘ve done it in his prime.

“Too rich to think…he could ever…not know everything without having to learn anything…

And even though I’ve never been accused of smart I’d run this business a hundred percent better than this sixty-seven year old snot nose little boy who was born too rich to think that he was just a…human in the end…. Too rich to think that he could ever be so unspecial and unprivileged as to not know everything without having to learn anything.

No. The poor guy’s just a little kid at one time…looks around at himself and his surroundings and then around at every one else and he learns that…what anyone else would conclude…everyone else except the others in his rich circle of specialness is lowly.

So he grows bigger. y’kin see him looking around but ever more down at the other people who are not special and whose lot in life seems to all be about growing smaller and smaller…even as he grows bigger and bigger. He was living on top of this house on top of the hill. He could just see those people far away..and he just never left there. And he just kept thinking, “Man, these people just keep growing smaller every time I get bigger!”

But he thought that made perfect sense. He didn’t know any different. But poor guy actually while gaining in height even grows bigger in girth and, like I said, still comparing he sees even his overweightness as more proof of his specialness and their smallness.

“Magical abilities to know…without cracking a book…divinely inspired…”

His magical abilities to know all the answers without cracking a book…is like intuition or divinely inspired…so his sense of his greatness expanding, his ego swelling like a hot-air balloon…and all the people looking like ants from his place of specialness.

Divine privilege, it is now, and wisdom, and power. As an adult it seems there is but one path, but that’s as meaningless to him as saying there’s only one God…he he he.

But, y’know, he’s surrounded by others who quite magically…it seems to him…and conjuring further is further proof of its truth…as if he needed any, having been letting him know over the course of his life increasingly and then as an adult, without inhibition and doubt, or restraint, amongst themselves that is, letting it be known that in fact they have all the same conclusions…see the world the same way…right down to the tiniest details.

It is so divine, uncanny, wonderful, and more and more just so plainly obvious that he cannot imagine…it simply never occurred to him…that in his infrequent excursions among the Lowly—a term describing the absolutely only way he can see them. And the only way all the so-called real people in his circle can see them too. And it being so obviously true he is sure they all see it.

“They can do no sin…”

So in these infrequent instances of elbow rubbing with the masses, he is confirmed in everything, even by these Lowlies themselves–to their obvious deference to him, their currying of his favor, and friendship, their often lowly, base, slavish lowering of themselves, humiliating themselves in their willingness to debase themselves with a smile and their caving to any and all of his wishes, desires, or lusts, year after year passing, where no longer anything worthy of even a passing thought of this now obviously perfect and righteous structure of the world of living things—God above, but very much alike to himself and the others in his circle…they can do no sin…their decisions are always correct…their understandings of the way of things, always perfectly accurate.

“Below…these…’creatures’…”

And below are these disturbingly base, ignoble, shameless…well…”creatures”…rather. For certainly closer to the hordes of other living things than they are to his kind.

And of course these animal, insect, and myriad other living things being lower still can only be seen as things to be used as resources. For they are eaten as food, forced to do work, to satisfy ‘em… much like the human Lowlies. The needs, wishes, urges, desires, and proclivities of the “real” people.

It’s the universe perfectly in order with all things—animal, vegetable, mineral…everything, indeed, that exists…facing inward as if it were toward the center of this huge circle of everything. And at the center are himself and those like him.

“The only morality…”

The only morality that exists or even could exist he thought once, in a rare philosophical moment, are the things consistent with his obviously truthful, very easy to understand universe.

How perfect. How simple. There is no grief or hardship other than for those in the Circle of Privilege. For anything without had its very reason for coming into existence the fact that it might at some time be brought forth, taken, used, consumed, or in some way allowed to fulfill or play a part in the enhancing of the pleasure, worth, or feeling of experiencing life for those in the Circle.

“No other experience than their experience…”

For in their charity of their truth, there IS no other experience than their experience. No other actually true life, no actually true pleasure, no really existing pain other than those of the Circle.

The other, seemingly living things, in fact, depend upon the ones in the Circle to do the living that they are incapable of…but which as the ones in the circle have observed…they can have a kind of creature or zombie life-sense to the extent that they can mirror, ape, emulate, mimic, fake the experiences of the Real People.

So a phantom kind of experience is that which sustains them and is the goal, source, and reason for their being. But they do not have real experience of their own. They are totally dependent on those in the Circle to live and experience life. As whatever their experience, it is a direct feed from the center.

Thus, the richness of experience in all forms becomes the food for all…the sustenance of life, its only reason.

“Lowlies…place…midway…between lifeless matter and…”real” beings…”

The Lowlies are phantom or creature-like things that have their place in reality, truth, experience, consciousness at about a midway point between the non-living substances—that which is inert, lifeless, matter—and the “real” beings.

There is therefore only two paths in their life. Facing into the world of nonbeing, inert matter, which is obviously their fate at some point; and facing in the direction of the Center, which emanates aliveness, richness, drama, lust, complexity, desire, fear, power, omnipotence, all derivatives of immediate experience.

Morality, for example. Which is defined thusly: What is good is whatever is acted, experienced, thought, or felt by the Reals. So both the Reals and the Lowlies are symbiotically related. The one as source of life. The other as mere resources to serve as the things or toys that can be used or not used.

It is all about what the Reals can desire, imagine, wish for, consume, or want…or make out of things other than them. And that includes the Lowlies.

The Lowlies fix their attention on the Center.

But the Lowlies are capable of a phantom-like semi existence, say, feeding on the actual events and experience, and the sights, sounds, and movements of those in the Center. They therefore face toward the Center, and fix their attention there. For it is the only place from which a vicarious experience, involving the imagining and acting out of that which it is possible for Lowlies to apprehend.

So that was the universe that spawned my boss. One problem in this perfection. Something so horrible that all the seeming benefit of being Real of the Circle of the Source, the Special, became turned upon its head.

“They were the only Deciders…”

You see, in time, gradually, little by little, then more frequently and increasingly, my boss, and others in the Circle, not all–through pure random action or as a result of the events not controllable–who did everything and every resource had as its purpose not just the possibility of being used, consumed, or simply to exist as backdrop for the ones in the Circle, but, for as the Real people saw it, being akin to divinity, perhaps Divinity itself as far as they could tell, they were the only Deciders, Intenders, Planners, Schemers, Desirers, and independent actors.

So it sustained their beliefs of the way of reality to use freely of the resources, either to use lightly, if their intentions, imaginations, and decisions regarding what would happen and exist was of a kind that did not require much of those not them. On the other hand if their desires, intentions, play and so forth involved heavy use, misuse, or destruction, consumption of those not them, it was all the same in terms of the rightness of things.

As mentioned there were things that happened that were not…well, you might say…in the playbook. And this was the big flaw in that entire system.

“What they had to do…is…pretty much stick to themselves…”

I don’t know how long, how many years, it may have been hundreds, that his family and his kind lived that way. But, well, just look around you in this day and age. What they had to do to maintain that idea is they had to pretty much stick to themselves all the time, pretty much not get to know any of the Lowlies. And that was pretty easy, cause if you looked at the Lowlies and you felt that, you know, they were not quite human, you didn’t have any inclination.

But what, perchance, if you’re down at a place in town or something, and perhaps one of the Lowlies is keeping a shop there. And then she should happen to smile at you, or one of the ones in the Circle.

And then she starts…”How ya doin today” and all that. And it’s like, the woman you figure, she’s probably programmed that way and everything but…you got, you see the great smile. And then you realize, she’s like…listenin…and she’s chipper…and she’s…well, that’s the sad thing is that, for all of their drama making and everything, all of their plans of doin this and doin that so that other people could experience stuff…well, the problem with my boss was…and…he had an experience like so many others did or were starting to have, and this was his experience with that girl, y’know?

And he saw her just…in that store…just…singin, being chipper, havin fun…seemin to dance around the store, y’know…as if she was just…happy….

But there was no reason to be happy. Especially not for her. And she didn’t get no happiness from up there…in the Circle. So he was dumbfounded.

“They’d had so many…they thought…experiences…costing lots of money…”

Not only that but the nature of her happiness was so far beyond anything that he’d seen anywhere that was called happiness. They’d had so many, so many…wonderful…they thought…experiences…really well planned out…y’know, costing lots of money and stuff.

And there she was. No money. Nothing. And yet she seemed really happy in a way that seemed more real and genuine than anything he’d ever seen.

Well, that really shook my boss. And…there was a series of those kind of events and….

I don’t know how many people live up in that Circle or even if it exists but my boss got older and he started doing this stuff and I got to be a job with him.

Well, all I can say is there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t seen him…. Heh… funny… Well, he was sayin how they would all say how these Lowlies were livin half lives, like zombies.

“Never seen him as anything but…”

Y’know, it’s the strangest thing, Mr. Boehner, I never…since the day I met him I’ve never seen him as anything but a zombie…bein on booze all the time…

And so… I can’t hate him… I mean, could you? .. I mean…could you? Could your kind….?

I mean…. That’s like kinda like hatin…well…an animal that annoys ya. You don’t go smack a dog around or a cat or nuttin like that just for bein a dog or cat!

And whatever he is, it’s like, he can’t help being himself now, now he’s already it. And I don’t even know if he ever had any choice in becoming it…what he became ‘cause…all’s I know is I never thought much of life and I never…I never…I never so, y’know…thought of myself as close to divinity or maybe God Himself *scoffing* and I never thought everybody around me, oh, could do whatever they, y’know, I could have whatever I wanted. I never thought I had that kind of power or that kind of importance or anything.

So, y’know…so they “Sweep this up here,”and, y’know, “Fix that thing over there,” and, y’know, I say they can say whatever they want I mean, I don’t care.

Perfection in a world like mine…and I get ok spaghetti…

It’s like…I like it, y’know? I like using my hands. I like touching the earth. I like the touch of tools…nice cold tools, and makin nice snappy wrenches and nice snappy sounds as you’re twistin those things around and you’re getting tight, just right perfect snug. There’s perfection in a world like mine.

And, y’know, it’s like, there’s no stress, I mean. Sure, I mean, I ain’t got your kind of wife, I mean. I like got ok spaghetti, like I said, y’know?

And, uh, now how do I compare that…. I ain’t really ever been unhappy really….. Disappointed…. But easy to accept considerin my background and… People around me, it’s like, it ‘s not like, it’s not like I’m any worse than anybody.

So I don’t feel bad really. And…and my boss…I don’t know how it would feel, Mr. Boehner, do you? You’re all the way from up from being a…years and years and years thinkin yer…yer god-like…you’re above everybody…you’re divine, and there’s no…and everybody’s there for your pleasure…and there’s nobody can resist you?

In fact I wonder what happened with that girl. I mean that first girl. I mean, I wonder if she…if he really…he’d ever….

He talked about her a lot. But now that I’m remembering the way he talked about her, it was like, it wasn’t happy after a while, it was like….

“Musta been…she was…happy…said no…had some respect…”

My god, I think that’s what did it. I think it was probably the first time he had an experience where somebody wasn’t fallin all over him, willin to do everything he wanted. It’s…it musta been that she was just so happy and everything and…she said no, and had some respect.

But don’t ya see what all that is from how high…. Can you imagine feelin that superior and dominant? And then comin down and bein..like as if you’re like now like you’re livin with the worms and that’s what you found out you’re more akin to them than the birds in the sky that you were once flyin with? Huh!

So how can I be mad at him?

Is anyone livin’…the real one…?

So what I want ta ask you, Mr. Boehner…you rich folks…pretty wives…unfortunate tragedies… god only knows what kind of sex and imean uh… And you know, us…. And then there’s my boss….

Now, who’s livin the vicarious life? Who’s livin the real one? Or is anyone?

ANYway. Mr. Boehner, you just put that piece of paper down there, and you put your name on it and I’ll have it for you tomorrow, and, uh…. Don’t forget, y’know, guess you’re gettin your ride home tonight, hear it comin….

You’re thinkin about your wife and your kids and everything and…

So remember I’m always on your side, but y’know….

[singin] The dancin’ she do ain’t gonna be with you… hahahahaha….


“Class Consciousness” – Some Important Parts

Auto Salesman Does Perry Como Does the Doors

Description

This is as funny as it sounds.  I did it; and I still can’t stop laughing, especially since it was completely unplanned, an improv off of a screw-up in the reading of “Anatomy of Class Consciousness.” 

When these things come through you in the spur of the moment, when you’re on a roll, you just know that God’s got to be the best comic of all. I don’t know where else this kind of material comes from. I’m still laughing. 

Hey, maybe I can do what auto salesman wanted to do, yea!  That’s the ticket, “SillyMickel does Perry Como does the Doors.” Yea. They’d wait months for tickets to that show.  Yea!

Oh my God, did I just say that out loud. I didn’t did I? No way!! Oh, I did? … (damn!)

Sample Quote

“Oh, man, who the hell, who the hell sings like that, man. That was like the fucking worst I’ve ever sung. Man, where my mind been that I can’t remember the Doors, and somewhere out of the really far past, I’m singing “Backdoor Man” by Perry Como…. Wow….

“But ya know. Somebody’s laughing I think I can make a gig out of this…. Ya know, can’t you see it: ‘Perry Como Does The Doors’”

There’s’ no way that any more can be expressed in text; it has to be heard.

Auto Salesman Does Perry Como Does The Doors

To hear this clip taken from Anatomy, click on the link to the audio site above or click the audio player here.

http://ecdn0.hark.com/swfs/player_fb.swf?pid=wxfdxpxcqw
Image of “Auto Salesman Does Perry Como Does the Doors” by SillyMickel Adzema

The Snorter, Mr. Boehner, and the Auto Salesman

Description:

This is just plain nonsense–a combination of vocal gymnastics and memorable one-liners, super-silliness cut from the beginning of “Anatomy of Class Consciousness.”  The primary speaker is the auto salesman. The invisible non-speaking other is a well-to-do man, called Mr. Boehner, who is there to buy a car. His actions are implied from the reaction of the auto guy. 

As far as who is the singer and who is the snorter, that is the riddle for the listener to try to solve.  Along with how John Wayne managed to walk through…and how come he can’t see. 

Sample Quotes:

“I’ve been telling you about the “filthy rich….”

“You lost your wife and you come up with her, a snorter! Aaaaa haaaa! Well, I’ll tell ya. Well, we’ll talk about karma later, Mr. Boehner. Anyway, oooo weeee!”

“If you’re not allowed to be sad when your entire family all of a sudden, suddenly die, all of them….”

“I know I’ve been awful kind to you…and I’ve been talking to you about sex and all, trying to cheer you up, y’know..course you didn’t have to hit me in the face for that one thing, y’know….”

“I’m not kinky…. I’m just kinky in the head; but that’s just in the head; it don’t come out; don’t come out; I ain’t got like holes in my ears, er anything.”

“Mr. Boeh-ner, get back be-hind the coun-ter.”

The Snorter, Mr. Boehner, and the Auto Salesman

To hear this clip taken from Anatomy, click on the link to the audio site above or click the audio player here.
http://ecdn0.hark.com/swfs/player_fb.swf?pid=vftvxfgqjx
Image of “The Snorter, Mr. Boehner, and the Auto Salesman” by SillyMickel Adzema

Others by Auto Salesman

Auto Salesman Does Como Doing Doors, Update – Aftermath, post-Gig

The following audio is a takeoff from “Auto Salesman Does Perry Como Does the Doors” above. It is not in the larger “Anatomy” audio.

Description

This picks up from the clip “Auto Salesman Does Perry Como Does The Doors.”  It takes the story forward to a time after Auto Salesman has tried out his “special talent” in front of an audience tryin to sell his CDs shopping-network style.

Sample Quotes

“You too can have the full 15-CD set.  Each one packed with eight hours of Perry Como…er, me…doing Perry Como…doing The Doors…Rolling Stones…and Beatles…and, you name it!  Probly got it….”

“Ok, I’ll try something different next time then….”

“I didn’t like those looks I got from the audience…. It was like…I mean…If I was on the G Network or QVC, whatever like that, man.  It’s like, if they had anybody in the audience, it’s like…  Shit, man, and I’d be, I’d have to go run off the stage, and, y’know….  I’d just, y’know…wow, man…Jee-sus.  I mean –  if there’d be more of them they’d be throwin up, it was like that bad, y’know…it’s like…Jesus Christ!  Specially that one woman…she-sh’ dinu’fess at all, man, she like — Wow, man… How’d you get to be alive, you suck….”

“I can’t seem ta think of the tones…  What happened to me…what happened to me I forgot The Doors and I been Perry Como’d and…….they did somethin ta me…when I was a kid…they must’ve injected Perry Como syrup inta me er sumpthin….  I’m telling you they injected Perry Como syrup, I mean they were dishin’ all kinds a stuff fer the kids ‘n… I mean they were conrollin’ those little fucks-i’mean us.. me.. they were tryin ta control us…

“And they would use anything…spankin’ ‘n…sirup…injections…  I mean, I believe it…

“We only caught ‘em on the LSD later on…  We don’t know what they were doing earlier… to little kids… yea, they won’t tell you that.”

Auto Salesman Does Como Doing Doors, Update – Aftermath, post-Gig

To hear this takeoff from Anatomy, click on the link to the audio site above or click the audio player here.

http://ecdn0.hark.com/swfs/player_fb.swf?pid=vrtvpvpdyb
Image of AutoSalesman Does Como Doing Doors, Update – Aftermath, post-Gig

Auto Salesman Speaks His Mind on SillyMickel

This is the last clip in the Auto Salesman series.

Description

This is not clipped from the long monologue and is another spinoff from “Anatomy of Class Consciousness.” In this one, Auto Salesman tears into the author, SillyMickel, talking kind of like his alter-ego.

Sample Quotes

About SillyMickel, Auto Salesman says:

“What’s his big fucking beef? What’s he got against George W. Bush? What’s his beef anyway…better than that bozo we got up there. I don’t know what’s his beef. He says something like, ‘Oh, he says, oh, he says like, oh, I…why, he says…he says,
‘Why George W. Bush, he, uh, he’s behind the Trade Center bombing and it was a government job, all for the purpose of doing this and that, and it killed thousands of people,’

“and, not only that he said the scientists are saying that we only got 20 to 50 years to save the planet, and that we’re all gonna die.

“And I say, “You call them reasons?” ….

“You call them reasons?”  I mean…..

“I didn’t see where that affected MY pocket book one bit!  Now where does he come from? Just because people, just because the whole world’s gonna die…

“I’ll be dead by then, probably…so what the hell do I care?  I don’t think anybody should be caring if it’s not going to effect them!

“Now, as far as the children and the grandchildren … are gonna die in a fiery inferno and whatever  in the next 20, 30 years and all the planet’s gonna be wiped out, now, I think: THEY should be worried! It’s THEIR problem, right? Ain’t my problem…why should I care?

“So, I said to that erudite little fuck, ‘You stay in your fuckin’ jar…well, stop botherin’ me with this stuff about how we’re all gonna die and everything like that because NOBODY cares…If it’s not them, you know, they don’t even care about their children so…what does it matter!?….”

Auto Salesman Speaks His Mind on SillyMickel

To hear this spinoff from Anatomy, click on the link to the audio site above or click the audio player here.

http://ecdn0.hark.com/swfs/player_fb.swf?pid=xdksvpbqyt
Image of Auto Salesman Speaks His Mind on SillyMickel

 

Continue with Apocalypse Emergency –
Part One: Trillion-Alarm Fire

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