Posts Tagged personal pain

Science Has Uncovered Something Subtler Than the Physical, Undergirding One’s Life, and Interconnected with All and Everyone: Deeper, and Higher, Spiritual Realities


Essence of Archetype, Desymbolizing the World, and Removing the Mask of Mysticism: A Primal Perspective on Spirituality, Part Eleven — The “God Above God”


Clean Mysticism

The “Monsters” Are not Real, A Pronoic Perspective … An Essentially Benign Universe Characterized by Grace and Love

75508_419570561463441_388329903_nThe contribution of a primal perspective, then, is twofold. First, it becomes obvious that the “demons,” the “monsters,” the resulting fear are not “real” (in terms of being rooted in transpersonal or “objective” reality). Rather, they are personal elements invading the perception of transpersonal reality. Behind the personal fear and pain we discover a more pervasive beauty and bliss, we sense an essentially benign universe characterized by grace and love.


Exotic Phenomena ~ Spiritual Cotton Candy

Second, the primal perspective allows us to see that much of the exotic phenomena as described in the spiritual literature is a consequence of personal pain and predilection and is not real in the transpersonal sense.


Desymbolizing the World

Making Exotic Phenomena Superfluous

0026-tumblr_lcz2t5kl5x1qag9hro1_400These two conclusions are sustained by the evidence that primalers are finding access to “cosmic life force” and “bliss” feelings often described in the spiritual literature, without having to contend with the monsters and demons, nor with the extravaganza of other-worldly description, which are concomitant to the life-force descriptions in the spiritual literature. Although one may reach deeper levels through various techniques, the deeper perceptions often are interpreted in terms of the highly symbolizing cortex. Bliss or life-force feelings are felt as immensely stronger and bigger than one’s self, in relation to a consciousness narrowed by personal pain and culture. And thus, they lend themselves readily to hyperbole and transpersonal descriptions.


Demythologizing Reality

angry dadPrimal therapy performs its desymbolizing function, making the exotic phenomena superfluous, by connecting the symbolic material pervading normal consciousness to real-life events. This dissipates the value of any such symbolic material as something in its own right. In primal this demythologizing process is apparent where many of the activities and fantasies of daily life are found to be “act outs,” that is, symbolizations of past pain: angry-dad1One reaches for a cigarette as symbolic of an unsatisfied need to nurse; or one becomes a writer because one was never listened to; or one travels the globe as symbolic of a need to be free of a constricting home environment in childhood.



Essence of Archetype

200278333-001But it seems that some of the deeper and more sensational experiences also are symbolic of primal pain. Even some of the “archetypal” experiences appear to be derivative of still deeper material. 7866082-newborn-baby-being-examined-in-delivery-room-by-doctorFor example, I have relived a postnatal experience that involved the cutting, scrubbing, and general abuse of my body (which was part of postnatal infant “care” in hospitals when I was born).


I can see where I could easily have imbued the experience with fantasy elements of an archetypal “Terrible Mother.”


witch_s640x427_thumb 43485149e141d96291000c76c297afb3_viewI did not choose to do so, because that would have meant turning what was obviously a personal reality into a fantasy and into something “transpersonal.” Yet I can also see where someone without access to the personal memory part of the experience would be left with only the fantasy.


Archetypal Universality ~ Biological Universality

The experiences evident in primal therapy strongly indicate that much of what has usually been termed “transpersonal” are, in fact, symbolically derived from personal life experiences in the “personal unconscious,” and that their seeming universality is related to our biological universality, especially as it concerns our gestation and birth.







253552_204561353007582_529440981_nGrof’s research also indicates that much of the exotic phenomena is symbolized preverbal pain. Concerning first-line or perinatal phenomena under LSD, he notes

[T]he encounter with death on the perinatal level takes the form of a profound firsthand experience of the terminal agony that is rather complex and has emotional, philosophical, and spiritual as well as distinctly physiological facets. (1976, p. 96)

Prenatal and Perinatal Roots of Spirituality

417002_520498194627937_1765380096_nBut then he also points out:

In a way that is not quite clear at the present stage of research, the above experiences seem to be related to the circumstances of the biological birth. LSD subjects frequently refer to them quite explicitly as reliving of their own birth trauma. Those who do not make this link and conceptualize their encounter with death and the death-rebirth experience in a purely philosophical and spiritual framework quite regularly show the cluster of physical symptoms described earlier that can best be interpreted as a derivative of the biological birth. They also assume postures and move in complex sequences that bear a striking similarity to those of a child during various stages of delivery. In addition, these subjects frequently report visions of or identification with embryos, fetuses, and newborn children. Equally common are various authentic neonatal feelings as well as behavior, and visions of female genitals and breasts. (p. 96)

I am reminded of Muktananda describing one of his spiritual experiences in which he visits “hell” (1974, pp. 114-115), which is a world filled with excrement. His description has striking parallels to some LSD experiences noted by Grof (1976), wherein this is said to be associated with “the contact with such biological materials and the termination of the agonizing experience of birth” (pp. 130-131).


Biological Basis of Myth

159849849494_thumbThe fact that primalers relive these intrauterine and birth experiences without all of the accompanying symbolism, as exhibited in both the psychedelic and spiritual literatures, is evidence of a desymbolized cortex, less obscure in its perceptions. In fact, there is a pattern seen in the LSD research as well as, to a limited extent, in primal therapy:images Upon subsequent relivings of a traumatic experience, such as one’s birth, there is a tendency for initial, highly symbolized encounters with the material to be followed by sessions containing less symbolism. Typically, this occurs until the event finally is able to be accepted and relived in its real-life historical detail and, often, biological brutality (cf. Grof, 1976, pp. 68-69, 56, 58-60; 1977, p. 12).

The “God Above God”

But although the experiences of primalers and LSD subjects serve to dispel much of what is thought of as transpersonal phenomena, there still is much that cannot be explained away as derivative of primal pain. I’m not sure that I agree with Grof in the extent to which he attributes transpersonal status to certain elements that are intermingled with perinatal phenomena. He writes, for example: “Perinatal experiences represent a very important intersection between individual psychology and transpersonal psychology” (1976, p. 99).


Deeper, and Higher, Spiritual Realities

But even without the pain-tainted elements, many of which have been called archetypal, it becomes increasingly hard to disregard his evidence for transpersonal phenomena on what appears to be a deeper level of the unconscious than even the perinatal. Certainly the prenatal arena has transpersonal overtones. Sperm and egg experiences themselves, in that they transcend the normal space/time boundaries of the personal in implicating a mechanism of memory that is nonphysical, are categorized by Grof as transpersonal experiences. Furthermore, beyond even that, the evidence from LSD research and the current spiritual literature suggests that the transpersonal level may be more expansive and varied than even Jung had envisioned.



66063_226823157448068_1342750833_nJanov might dismiss these transpersonal experiences as “overload” phenomena, that is, as fantasies occurring out of released, painful energy that is too great to be dealt with. But because they occur when the perinatal phenomena have been thoroughly, not incompletely, worked through, and because they have such far-reaching and positive effects on personality and later behavior, I do not think they can be so easily discarded.


Proof of “God”

Some of these experiences, especially in the parapsychological realm (such as ESP, clairvoyance, and ancestral memories), have even found verification with an astonishing degree of accuracy in Grof’s follow-up research (1976, pp. 164-167, cf. p. 207). Even the primal perspective, which points to the existence of memory and consciousness at the fetal, single cell, and sperm and egg level, certainly would have to acknowledge such awareness to have more subtle underpinnings than the brain and spinal cord.


All of this points to the existence of something that is subtler than the physical body and undergirds the entire length of one’s physical life. The evidence also seems to suggest that this subtler self permeates much of matter and life in realms outside of the personal domain and therefore can be accurately termed transpersonal.


Continue with Enlightenment as an Attitude of Adventuring … Eventually It Is Simply About Staying Open to Experience/Process: A Primal Perspective, Part Twelve — Zorba the Buddha

Return to A Primal Perspective on Spirituality, Part Ten — Clean and Unclean Mysticism: The “Monsters” and Demons and Fear Do Not Exist Outside of You

To Read the Entire Book … on-line, free at this time … of which this is an excerpt, Go to Falls from Grace

Invite you to join me on Twitter:

friend me on Facebook:

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a comment

The Earth Is the True Bible, Matter Is a Language, The Universe Is a Book of Deity and Philosophy, Ever Teaching Us: Matter as Metaphor, Part Eight


The Universe Is Explored Through Internal and External Experience of Self: It Is Not That We Project Human Characteristics Onto the World, It Is That in Us Are Reflected Universal Ones


“The Dewdrop Slips Into the Shining Sea”

Sri Sathya Sai-1This is the stage described in Buddhism as the waterdrop becoming one with the ocean (“the dewdrop slips into the shining sea”). It is expressed by Sathya Sai Baba as a stage when the individual disappears into God, or becomes one with God. And it is exemplified everywhere in Zen Buddhism, especially in Zen art, which likewise depicts naked Nature — ninth-frame-nature-unsulliedthat is to say, a consciousness truly reflecting, in an undistorted way, that which is, or, one might say, the still lake that perfectly reflects the sky and moon. It is also wonderfully depicted in the ninth frame of the ten ox-herding symbols, where neither ox nor herder is visible, and all that is, is Nature Unsullied.


So it is in this sense, at this stage, that we see ourselves not as the center of the Universe, and not even as babes (our “inner child”-ren) in the Universe.  But we have physically disappeared from the center of the circle (the center of consciousness). We are then simple awareness, simple foci of consciousness in the vast expanse of the Universe.





Furthermore, it is interesting that the evolution of this symbol — viz., from man in the center of the circle to the Universe in the center of the circle (or life force or consciousness in the center of the circle) — appears to have gone through the stage of “birthing into the Universe.” This is exemplified, for example, by the symbol at the conclusion of “2001” wherein the fetus is seen as suspended in the Cosmos, like a star.

2001 st

Thus, at this stage — before we actually become one with the Universe . . . and become just foci of light in the vast universe of consciousness, i.e., become stars — we go through a process of focusing on our perinatal origins. In other words, we go through our personal, pain-driven reality constructions — a product of our earliest experiences in the womb and at birth — we place them in the center of the universe, the center of consciousness, and we clear them out. We do this so we might truly see the Universe as it is, not distorted by our personal psychic overlay.


Later, in the stages of evolution of our consciousness, we no longer are even “babes” (or fetuses) in the universe, but instead have transcended even that.  In this stage the personal disappears . . . we disappear (in the symbol) . . . and then the Universe alone exists.

crop circle4


We Are Much Like the Stars 

We are much like the stars in the vastness of the sky . . . points of light, or awareness, with the awareness from each of us in this gigantic hologram of What Is traveling everywhere else in the Universe, to everyone else of us and interconnecting us all and participating us all in the reality of the whole; just as the light from the stars travels everywhere in the Universe, to all the other stars in the Universe, interconnecting, through every-traveling and infinite light, each and every one of them.


The Universe Is Ever Teaching Us

So it is, once again, in the example of the stars and our individual points of awareness, that the physical universe again reflects the spiritual/metaphysical reality of us . . . ever teaching, as it were, ever showing, and demonstrating to us . . . ever hoping, so to speak, that we will just look up and see . . . and in so doing come to realize our true nature, our true place in the universe of awareness, free, once again, from the limitations (and suffering) of attachment to form (of attachment to reflection, of attachment to delusion).

We Don’t Anthropomorphize the World, It Has Deified Us 

It is not that in looking at the world we project human characteristics onto it; it is that the world has looked at us and reflected its universal characteristics. We don’t anthropomorphize the world, it has deified us. 


The Earth Is the True Bible

Or, as Lawlor (1992) phrased it, in describing the worldview of the indigenous Australian Aborigines:

While the Aborigines refer to the forces and powers that created the world as their Creative Ancestors, they believe all creatures — from stars to humans to insects — share in the consciousness of the primary creative force, and each, in its own way, mirrors a form of that consciousness. In this sense the Dreamtime stories perpetuate a unified world view. This unity compelled the Aborigines to respect and adore the earth as if it were a book imprinted with the mystery of the original creation. (p. 20)

You might say to the Aborigines, the Earth is the true Bible, upon it is printed the knowledge of the ages, the story of our beginnings and our nature, and the guidance for how to live and how to find our way back to our source. We can read the Earth; everyone can. It is a book of God and philosophy that cannot be hidden and hoarded by any elite and is available, always, to each and every one.


Matter Is a Language


The Dreamtime stories extended a universal and psychic consciousness not only to every living creature, but also to the earth and the primary elements, forces and principles. Each component of creation acts out of dreams, desires, attractions and repulsions, just as we humans do. Therefore, the entrance into the larger world of space, time and universal energies and fields was the same as the entrance into the inner world of consciousness and dreaming. Exploration of the vast universe and a knowledge of the meaning of creation was experienced through an internal and external knowledge of self. (p. 20)


The Dreamtime creation myths of the Aborigines guided them to see the physical world as a language, as a metamorphosis of invisible spirit, psychological and ethical realms. In this way, the Aboriginal involvement with the physical world includes and resonates with all other aspects of human experience. (p. 22)


And Pleiadiens Are Stars, Too!

A fascinating extrapolation of this we-are-stars idea is the fact that much of the channeling/UFO stuff that is emerging concerns those “aliens” coming from “the Pleiades.” That is, that these “beings,” who are able to come to us by mechanical means or psychically, depending upon our ability to accept the inner world, might be considered other foci of consciousness within the “inner” psychic universe that are reflected in the outside universe as the star system Pleiades.


The Pleiadeins Are More Directly Seen Within Us … And Much Easier to Get to That Way

In other words, rather than being humanoids like us who happen to have flown in spaceships from other planets in that part of outer space (a very anthropocentric view), they may actually be the star system itself, or more correctly, they may be the psychic foci in the That Which Truly Is of consciousness that gets reflected as a “star system” which we label Pleiades, in the way we create all the rest of the physical world out of the pure “mind-stuff” of the universe.


Continue with “One at First Sees a God as a Demon Until One Is ‘Wholly’ Enough to Recognize Him”: We See Our “Angels” Through the “Fog” or Our Individual Vapors of Pain.“

Return to “We Are then Simple Awareness, Simple Foci of Consciousness in the Vast Expanse of the Universe”: Matter as Metaphor, Part Seven: We Are Stars Are Us.

Invite you to join me on Twitter:

friend me on Facebook:

sun-thru-fog img7 The Montmorency Falls in Quebec tree-of-life dewdrop (1) wait-till-the-last-sunset 6833_101802383169388_100000188792455_54035_397998_n baobab2-resize img_2880 0adfasf ????????? dewdrop baraka-01-470-75 angelium josephine_wall_3 australia-aboriginals-chained-1906 Geo_Wonders_6b 6263555326_99a96ea455 djdjdjstgbb hshsjstvuj 566602394_5a0fe648ce_o AQUA_DEW_DROPS GE DIGITAL CAMERA Mount Rainier Albert Bierstadt shdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdg IMG_1770 Uluru-Aboriginal-6-10 Sunset dewdrops-on-spider-web il_fullxfull.362602814_18vc ??????????????????????????????? sgagahgahahahah jdkdkdkdkldkd pb-121130-st-james's-park-kb-515p.photoblog900

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a comment

The Sins of the Fathers: I have This Sense of Brother/ Sisterhood — That We Are Engaged in an Immense Undertaking … Necessary for the Survival of This Planet.

“Sure It’s Hard! But Always Are We Here Helping You,” Part Three: Sins of the Fathers. Our Combined Energies Constitute an Incredible Force.

Summary of “Sure It’s Hard But Always Are We Here Helping You”: This details the spiritual experience I had in 1980 which set me on this path to help the planet and the planetmates. I was shown by certain entities the path of our devolution as a species, thousands of years ago, and was told that we need to turn this around immediately. I was told that there were many others at work right now doing the same thing, so I need never despair, at the immensity of the task. Most importantly, I was told that we are receiving help… always…in our efforts. I was led to believe that these higher powers, of which we are yet to know, are fully engaged in our endeavor on this planet and assisting us at every turn.  [Footnote 1]

Sins of The Father

Regardless of how you may wish to label the preceding experience, it remains one whose message has stayed with me through all the intervening years, a message that has rung true and helped me through other difficult spaces.  In fact, I still reflect on it and can’t help believing there is a lot to it.  Consider:  Generation after generation of Western culture has engaged (with little awareness of the consequences) in passing down their personal pain and trauma, in some form or other, onto their offspring.  And they in turn dump it on theirs.  We know that child abusers were themselves abused as children; but this is just a very blatant example of how the pattern operates.  On and on and back through into hazy unrecorded history this situation has existed; this vicious cycle has perpetuated itself.

But many of us in these extraordinary times, and goaded on by the specter of global catastrophe, for one thing are saying:  “Let it end with me!”; “Let us not continue this madness any further!”  Attempting to break the cycle of “kill and be killed,” of hurting and then inflicting hurt, attempting to halt the prevailing insanity, we make the Gandhian effort to take the energy into ourselves, to change ourselves lest we, also, be like the generation before — forever passing on the insane legacy.

So why should we think this would be easy?!  We are trying to bring to an end, in our single lifetimes, the accumulated results of untold generations of our ancestors dumping their pain and insanity onto their descendants.

But Always Are We Here Helping

So of course it’s hard!  And for me to realize this fact allows me to accept it.  That is, it allows me to accept this task and to take up my place in the ranks of those arrayed in the purpose of undoing the craziness rather than to turn away in despair at the immensity of the task or to quaver in paralysis before it.

This experience has also provided me with a wonderful outlook on the people around me.  I look around to the many people who are working spiritually to change themselves and this crazy world — who are serving, mending, and healing others and themselves.  In doing so I have this sense of brother/sisterhood — that we are all engaged in an immense undertaking . . . that we are synergizing our energies in an endeavor which is not merely crucial, it is imperative . . . not just for our personal growth, for our personal satisfaction or well-being — although that’s not to be discounted — it is necessary for the very survival of this planet.

I feel that if this task had been easier it would have been done long ago by well-intentioned ancestors.  Indeed, it may only be because the survival of this planet is now at stake that substantial numbers of us have at this point, finally, accepted the challenge.

Many of us are aware of the seeming intractability of the situation we face — both personally and globally.  But what I feel now is not so much the despair at the difficulty of the task but rather, because of what I was taught through this experience, I feel a sense of belongingness, cosmic belongingness, if you will . . . a sense that I’m not alone.  I feel that many others are working at this same thing in this day and age.  Our combined energies — along with the energies of the Universe that are working with us — together constitute an incredible force.  Confronted with the enterprise we have before us, this force may just be sufficient to do on this planet what has never been done before here (as far as we know).

So to all who occasionally despair, I can only repeat, “Sure it’s hard, but always are we here helping you.”

Continue with We Are a Fever, Part One: Perinatal Psychology, the Phenomenon of Re-Experience, and my Personal Involvement with This Research into Our Actual “Human Nature”

Return to A Cosmic Slap: I Was Told “Once There Lived “Noble” Beings” and Now Is the Time for a Regeneration of Peoples to Regain What We Lost.


1. Journal Entry Complete. Just as it was written over thirty years ago. For those interested in hearing the entire experience:

Journal Entry of June 28, 1980:

I was lying in bed last night with Maddie. Couldn’t sleep, air conditioner too loud. Suddenly I was aware of all this energy coursing through my body. Was really scaring me. My body zinging, intense ringing (buzzing?) in my ears, rushes flowing through me. Was scared I was going crazy, would hurt Maddie, would become possessed or something, etc. Tried focusing on my third eye so as to control it like I did in Portland.

That may have helped some, but I could sense, and was scared of, other “presences” in the room. I thought I heard a woman’s voice behind me over my left shoulder and that scared me. Without realizing the transition, I found myself projected into this panorama of history and a woman’s voice was narrating.

She described how once there had lived “noble” beings. I could see vast and colorful panoramas of peoples exuding “nobility” and “integrity” (for want of better words to describe what they were like). They walked and paraded before me and were all around me. Then the woman explained that the peoples degenerated and, as if in demonstration, I began seeing battles and wars played out before my eyes. I was in the midst of them!

However, I was still aware that I was in my body lying on my bed, because I could feel myself against it. Even so I was afraid that I would begin taking on the bodies of participants in the battles and would feel pain like they were obviously feeling. This feeling was especially strong when I was in the midst of the convergence of two groups of warring parties (their garb reminded me of Israelites or people of Biblical times or something). The group I was facing were going at each other with hatchets and I was afraid of becoming a participant and possibly feeling an ax chunking into my neck or skull. But although it was happening all around me, nobody in the crowd noticed me; it was as if I wasn’t there. In fact at one point I believe they actually may have passed through me!

This scene passed, along with other dramas, and it was explained to me that now it was time for a regeneration of peoples on this “plane[?]” to regain their former “nobility[?],” “integrity[?]” (again for lack of better words).

Still feeling that I was conscious, i.e., knowing that it was all happening to me while I was really lying in bed; I let myself walk through many landscapes and terrains, which I felt I could easily have lived in at one time and which I felt had all existed at some time or place or did now exist somewhere in the world or Universe. I walked through small shack towns. I remember a small group of bedraggled people huddled together in one. There were many kinds of pastoral settings also: some beautiful with rolling, lush hills, and some not as beautiful — rocky terrain, etc. All seemed to be viable habitats for different people. I had the thought that these may have been places/lives that I had lived in at one time.

Certain places brought up bad feelings in me, foreboding, scared feelings. In fact it can be said that the whole time it was happening I was scared about the experience. I feared meeting some dangerous and evil entity or being stuck in an undesirable place. When I was in one particular environ/habitat that wasn’t very pleasant, I remembered something that Seth had said about consciously altering and changing his environment. In line with that I decided to stop believing in the one that I was in and see what happened.

What happened was that environment went away and then there was a blank grayness as I waited for a new scene to appear. I continued to be aware that I was in a trancelike state and that I had a body lying in bed. I would at times vaguely return to the feeling in my body and would feel myself on my back, hands and arms outstretched, mattress against my back, in a very deep state of relaxation and suspended animation which had a feeling of heaviness or deadness about it. My body didn’t need to move and it was perfectly comfortable.

I could hear the air conditioner running, also, and even Maddie’s breathing next to me. Several times, I don’t remember exactly when, Maddie had reached over and put her arm around me, both times only for an instant, before she rolled back away from me. Neither of the times did it disturb the deep state that I was in or cause me to rise at all out of it. I simply felt warm and good towards her at the affection she was showing me. I even had the thought that, considering the fact that she only did it for a moment before turning away, that somehow she knew what was going on, in some deeper, nonconscious part of herself, and was reassuring or encouraging me.

Anyway, I was securely very deep and felt that I wasn’t going to be suddenly disturbed from it unless, perhaps, I let it. But I really didn’t want to do that. I was rather scared and apprehensive most of the time, as mentioned, but, more importantly, it was all so damned interesting! There is no doubt that I was thoroughly enjoying the color, the panorama, the expanse and freedom of consciousness, the fact that I was experiencing something important and that I had never experienced before, so that I dearly wanted to stay there despite the fear.

Sometime after the gray place, I believe it was, I was aware of some kind of light far off in the distance that I could travel to if I liked. At around that time I could hear Maddie saying to somebody (about my body in bed): “Is he moving at all? Is he breathing? Do you think he’s dead?” and so on. I remember thinking to myself how silly that sounded and that “No, I’m not dead, I’m just in this deep trance and everything.” But then suddenly I began to wonder if maybe I was dead! It had all been so strange that maybe I had actually died in my sleep!

At that point I recalled the accounts I’d heard and read about of people dying and not knowing they were dead, how they would often hang around and watch other people’s reaction to their death (and this could go on for days). I remembered how Steve had once told me something to the extent that if that should happen that one shouldn’t get carried away and fascinated by the after-death state but that one should “get down on one’s knees” (figuratively speaking) and search out the source and the presence of God. Thinking that was perhaps when I actually looked around and saw the light.

At any rate, I found myself wondering if I wanted to be dead. This place was certainly an interesting one, even with the apprehensions. And it sure seemed to be a change (so far, anyway) from the constant struggling to survive and grow. But I also felt that there were just so many loose ends left unresolved in my life. There were so many areas that I’d made good progress in but had not yet taken to completion. My love for Maddie (next to me), which was only just beginning, came to my mind as an example.

And so I decided to find out if I was dead or not, both to know if I should go heading for the light (if I was) or to reassure Maddie (if I wasn’t). I determined to get into my body and, with an effort and strain, I forced myself up from the depths, forcing my body to move and sit up. I was mildly surprised to find that I was able to do this, bringing myself into physicality and into a half-sitting position. In this position I looked over to see Maddie sleeping next to me, I could hear the air conditioner whining, and so forth. I realized then that she hadn’t “physically” been sitting over me, talking about me, but I also felt that some part of her must have. (We used to have this thing when we slept together that often we would feel like we had been communicating with each other on some kind of subconscious level the whole night long. We wouldn’t ever remember all that we had said but we would often both remark about it the next morning).

Realizing that I wasn’t dead, I lay back down and let myself drift back into the deepness. All I remember, after this point, is talking to Maddie, probably about what had happened to me, explaining it to her, though I’m not sure that was all of it. Also I remember at least one other time, maybe two, forcing myself to waking consciousness to see if Maddie was awake (as if in an experiment), because it really seemed that we were actually, physically awake and talking to each other. I thought we were lying in bed physically talking. It was hard to believe it when I forced myself awake only to find her lying beside me asleep.

After that there were some actual dreams, quite different from what had been going on earlier. I fell into sleeping and dreamed of being in my Grandmother’s home. I remember reading a book, sitting in a chair in her kitchen. There were other people there also; they were sitting in the same kind of straight-backed, none-too-comfortable wooden chairs.

I remember that early on, when I was doing all the traveling and stuff, that I didn’t know how I’d possibly remember all the experiences that happened to me and all the things that I saw and learned. It seemed like a lot of time was crammed into that short period. I remembered hoping just that I would retain as much of it as I could, especially hoping that I wouldn’t just blot it all out as it felt important.

Don’t Despair, There Are Others Doing It With You, and We’re Here, Too

I feel like the meaning of the part about the regeneration of the peoples on this plane was an answer to my despair at working on getting through my feelings. It’s like it was saying: Sure it’s hard! What you’re talking about is the reversal of hundreds of generations of degenerate and violent habit, custom, and activity. But we’re talking about changing that also, and you’re not the only one working at it. There are many others in your time period struggling to do it just like you.

And the feeling that left me with was/is “So don’t despair. There are others like you doing it, and we’re (out here) helping you too.

Continue with We Are a Fever, Part One: Perinatal Psychology, the Phenomenon of Re-Experience, and my Personal Involvement with This Research into Our Actual “Human Nature”

Return to A Cosmic Slap: I Was Told “Once There Lived “Noble” Beings” and Now Is the Time for a Regeneration of Peoples to Regain What We Lost.

Invite you to join me on Twitter:

friend me on Facebook:

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a comment

%d bloggers like this: