Breaking News — Hell Doesn’t Exist: Good—God! Hell—No! … the Comedy

Hell Does Not Exist: Jesus Ignored, God Misunderstood, An All-Loving God Maligned…. But The Great Reveal Has Begun!

Good – God. Hell – No.

This performance of comedic supposing is played for you by SillyMickel Adzema and his wife, Mary Lynn Adzema. They reenact the roles of the TV anchors Katie and Dave on one of the most memorable days in all of history, occurring not long ago at all.

Big Lies…Big Ones!

We listen in as local TV anchors Dave and Katie recall the amazing day, not quite a month ago, when the world changed drastically forever, practically overnight. They replay the TV news highlights of those incredible few days when miraculously the world’s human population was released from the Biggest Lie of all time, in fact the longest lasting—25,000 years in fact.

Zombies.SadProselytistsBut the world changed because it was the most hideous lie. It had made humans miserable throughout their lives and caused them to be terrified to live, terrified of acting or even speaking. And after such a life of paralyzing terror, at death’s door, it caused untold trillions of humans to be freaked out of their gourd and to go nearly insanely brain scramblingly, nose drippingly mad as they approached the threshold.

God Will Punish You Forever in Hell…Stiiiiiilll, He Loves You!

The Big Lie, the incredibly long cover-up?

It turns out that some quite insanely controlling and pompously superior types had long ago concocted the idea of Hell—this place of endless and unbearable suffering that would last for all time. And then as the ultimate in mind scrambling irrationality, attributed its existence to God, who was also claimed to be all-loving and all-merciful.

And if that did not make any sense, they further compounded the insanity by claiming that if that didn’t make sense to you it was because you were a sinful—thus likely to suffer forever unbearably–person who expected that God had to make sense to you, and thus you placed yourself slightly higher than dirt in your self-esteem, which was the huge sin of hubris, or thinking that you were capable of rational thinking.

A Wildly Successful Mind-Fuck

So it was the biggest, stupidest, and meanest mind fuck of all time, concocted to keep people so terrified that they would be easily manipulated by the controlling Meanies.

But it succeeded wildly beyond all expectations in that it could not definitely be disproved. And with the penalty of not believing in it so unbelievably huger than any person’s worst nightmare magnified times infinity, it held fast in people’s minds for 25,000 years with barely a soul ever courageous enough in that time to speak up and say what a rotten crazy notion it was.

Nor could people dare to realize how it didn’t coincide with ANY concept of God at all. For this insanity to be true, God would not be God, but would be the worst most evil human imaginable, times infinity, again, which doesn’t make that being a God but, well, even Satan comes across as kinder by comparison.

So Dave and Katie replay the highlights: the outpouring into the streets in every city of the world, the people—some crazed, others furious, others gleeful. It was the most emotional day in recorded history…and the world changed.

Listen in as that day is brought back to life through the observations of the TV anchors and their reporters in the streets bringing in-your-face observations and interviews with shocked, emotionally overflowing street demonstrators.

They reenact the roles of the TV anchors Katie and Dave as the first report of The Big Reveal breaks on TV. In this clip the news is first being announced. The first reports are coming in: There is talk of pandemonium in the streets and throughout cities large and small throughout the World.

You hear Dave’s transparent inability even to say the news; you hear the street reporter openly discussing his confusion about even being on the job among the heaving masses—which, with all the heavy drinking and drug taking that ensued upon the announcement, was in some parts rather more “heavin'” than others,as the street reporter remarks; and you hear the early comments from people on the streets.

This is the kind of wacky headline theology that we only wish could occur. But when it does, the changes in normal behaviors are drastic, as it seems everyone’s mask is tossed away, and people, worldwide, for the first time are faced with the idea of who they REALLY are and what they REALLY want to do…for this news is the equivalent of releasing all the people on Earth from a prison simultaneously, with added tumult caused by the sudden awakening by most to a never before considered reality: that before the Big Reveal they had ACTUALLY BEEN in a kind of a prison.

“The Great Reveal: Recalling the Riotous, Exciting First Days”
– Comedic Re-enactment by SillyMickel and Mary Lynn Adzema

For the audio skit of this chapter click above for the link to the audio site…. or below on the audio player to listen to it here….
Image of The Great Reveal: Recalling the Riotous, Exciting First Days – Comedic Re-enactment by SillyMickel and Mary Lynn Adzema

The Skit…The Big Day Recalled

“This is SillyMickel Adzema and I’ve got some news that’s been coming out. And I’m going to turn you over to the reporters on TV right now. And you can hear for yourself. I think it’s pretty amazing what’s been going on….”

Dave, in studio: Thank’s SillyMickel. What’s going on is that the…well…Jesus ignored, God misunderstood, an all-loving God maligned…but the Great Reveal has begun!

Katie, in studio: A God of all-encompassing and Infinite Love, beyond any human’s ability to even imagine exists.

Dave: Imagine that.

Katie: He is closer now than any other time, something wonderful is going to happen.

Dave: Something wonderful’s going to happen?

Well, yes, Katie, it’s hard to believe…our world changing soooo fast.

Katie: To put it all in context, we review how it all began …. Not even a month has passed….

Dave: Yea. it seems like the time before is ancient history…now. But we think back to those broadcasts:

Dave reporting from the studio a month earlier: Breaking news…..obvious truths discovered – despite 25,000 year cover-up, slander, and pervasive, omnipresent, persistent misinformation…Big Lies..big lies, big ones…and a propaganda campaign ta beat the boo…I’m tellin ya….

Katie: A virtual matrix of religiosity….

Dave: Virtual…yea….

Katie: Pompously substituting Itself for reality and truth.

Dave: How could ya…do…I’m sorry…I’m not supposed to be uh, I’m not supposed to be o-pin-ing right now..but…I gotta tell ya…Who woulda believed it…I mean, HELL doesn’t exist! For thousands of years people lived of fear of death and worse…and it’s all a big SHAM…. I mean…I’m sorry, I’m a little, I’m a little upset y’know, Katie, I mean, I mean, y’know, I m..y’o…. I’S BROUGHT UP CATHOLIC!…. I’m…I shouldn’t get personal here…be professional….

THE BIG REVEAL…the big reveal…this is the big reveal…. God is good, and all merciful ends up not just being HAPPY talk! To comfort us before death and then eternal lifenot just happy talk!? in fiery hell of suffering…. He! It ends up being

Katie: The Big Reveal — Turns out God is actually GOOD, real good, all-good, and certainly gooder than any human can imagine.

Dave: Yea, s’gotta be gooder than all those things that they put on commercials that say are good good good good good…. I mean, we’re talkin not just good we’re talkin bout…I m..w..can we say good? We’re sayin…well’p y’know…. Hey, didn’t the word God come from good or good come from God…never mind…anyway…. There just isn’t a word to explain good…y’know…as good as that God is….

Anyway, investigation into cover-up reveals that source of idea of Hell is actually tight-assed controlling compulsives who, well, well…not so good!

And that, 25,000 year campaign to control others by scar-in the crap out of them with a totally concocted and, well, most horr-ible frightening idea ever to exist…is actually the product of very sick humans! Wleegh.

Katie: Reporters rushed to record reaction on the street…. What are ya hearing out there, Dave?

Studio Dave: (whispering) Y’better ask him again, I mean I don’t think he can hear ya there, Katie.

Katie: Hey, Dave, whatareya hearin out there on the street!?

Street Reporter Dave: Wa’ll, Katie…. Katie, wha, ‘mean…Katie!… Things are nuts! I mean, people!… I thought I saw a-mok in I-raq…well I-raq’s a-mok, got no truck, with this here amok! I mean it…. I’m not worried bout no suicide bomb-ers, but, well, I just never…too comfortable in a loony bin…and it seems that’s what the world is now, Katie… I mean [singing] “What the wo-o-rld is no-ow is….” What the hell’s a matter wit me!?

Katie: Dave, did ya get to talk to any of the people?

Street Reporter Dave: Oh, yea yea yea…my job…. OK!… I mean, well shit yea…I mean, w’ll fuck it, there ain’t…. well, hell…. What the fuck am I trying not ta swear for!? Whaddya gonna do? Burn me? Haha

Katie: Dave, Dave, are you Ok, ya sound sick, or uh…. How long’ve you been awake? Are you OK?

Street Reporter Dave: Well, I don’t know, I’mean…I didn’t even know if I wantd ta come ta work, I mean, awanlosmy…yea, hell! That made me scared outa my banana…made me come to this stupid fuckin job! Thas wh…wll..there’s no hell! An I dono wha I’m doin here….

And, I’ve had some help…. I mean, y’know mean, y’know y’don’t know what your doin…. I’m a guy…y’know…I’mean…whad im a gonna do…and so…Yea, I’ve had a few of this, and that, nd…. Whadya gonna do, Katie, fire me, burn me…whadaya gonna do, huh?

Katie: Dave geta fuckin hold of yerself!

Street Reporter Dave: Wu!?

Katie: Ya gotta goddamn job ta do!

Street Reporter Dave: Oh, geez!

Katie: And I sure as hell want my paycheck. Hell’s a big freakin lie…but…money ain’t!

Street Reporter Dave: [under his breath] Ho! smell you, hu

Katie: So, SHAPE up, or I’m sendin your ex out ta do the job

Street Reporter Dave: [like he’d been hit] Hoe’t! ye, KA-tie, oh GEEZ-us…ah! [thumps his chest] Ya had ta bring er in…oh!… Hell hath no fu-ry, I…w’ i o know…guess at don apply no more now does it?….

O-oh, Katie, I see what’s da sweet ex-terior…I see whats under that now….

O-k, ya got me by the short hair don’t ya…oh, never mind…. Al-right, well…. Yeh, I’ve been among the freakin heav-in masses, nd—some of em a little more heavin too—i stay away from those crowds—

ah got some footage…I sent some of it back…well, I’ll give ya some more right now, well, actually, he!… Yer kinda sexy when your mad, y’know, we ah i never seen ya like that before in o…s’got my boner.. a..thing…ba bong a bom a bom a

Katie: Hey, drunk, just get the job done!

Street Reporter Dave: Whoe…!

Katie: And don’t say another word!

Street Reporter Dave: Scuse me uh!!

Katie: Got it?

Street Reporter Dave: Hey-ey, sugarpants, he-ey…Ka-tie!

Katie: Watch it!

Street Reporter Dave: Ok, okay, okay, seyereelfuckatear [mumbling] Oh bo-oy.[mumbling] ah! Ka. [mumbling, gathering himself]…ok!…

So! You look like the real man about the fuckin laboratory there…what’s your reaction to this great reveal there, uh, kid?

Kid: How could I be such a du-fus!?

Woman on the street: Well, of course, that’s true, how could we not see it?

Another street woman: How could they do that to us, the limey bastards?!

Street Reporter Dave: Wa’ll I cin see your pissed, God’nly’knows how much time you spent pushin out babies in your lifetime…y’ne, he! [under his breath] ‘cause ya sure look the worse for wear, uh…. did I say that?….

How bout you, sir, you look ripe as hell ta give me some bright little twitter comment, ah…aren’t you ah, aren’t ya now?

Man on Street: Wow, humans are real dumb fucks!

Another street woman: Un-believable. It was right in front of us the entire time!

Another street man: Well, I knew it…(chuckling)…but no-body would believe me. i’me, How can God be both good…and also more capable of evil than even the most twist-ed human? Hehe In fact, more evil than all of the evil of all humans who’ve ever lived combined? He, y’know what I find so amazing is that people believed that extremely sick, twisted view…never catching a whif…hehe…of its absurdity in this in-cred-i-bly lo-o-ng ti-ime. Shows how really terrified people really are on the inside….

Katie: Just breakin in to report that last quote was from someone who hates twitter.

Studio Dave: Wha d’fuck…ya’o w’mee…how dyou know that, Katie? [under his breath:] wow, they got some good people up there….

Katie: More coming, folks. We’ll keep you abreast of all the new developments on this channel so stay tuned! You don’t want to miss a thing of these world..shaking..developments!

[long pause]

Studio Dave: [like waking up] Whe uh, mmph [mumbling] akay, uh…my phu, uh….

LATEST Developments on discovery of the obvious about God and the overnight revision of and now near u-niversally accepted…scientific start-ing premise on human species…. Apparently it’s been a world wide thing…a-round the world…lick-it-ey-split timing!…[under his breath] Ga oly knows…how ey talka thmslvs uh…diffrnt time zones, uh, y’losa, losa thr connection thr uh think er…

Katie: [quietly] Well, guess we lost our connection, er

Studio Dave: Uh, kill er time, uh, Katie, just kill time, uh, sing one of yer songs uh, yknowame…one of yer swee-e-t songs!

Katie: [coyly] he he, hu uh, uh…

Studio Dave: Ga head…ya oh, g-ead, uhoh

Katie: he uh [shyly]

Studio Dave: ALL-right, Katie, all right, all right. We’ll let cha go…he he [whispering to Katie:] ya a to, go he…[insistently:] Go ‘head, sing a song!

[long pause]

We ul eh…uhhh…Ye…uh…w…LATEST developments on the obvious about God…and the overnight revision of now near-ly u-niversally accepted scientific premise on human species as…. “bunch of real dumb shits” and “seriously brain-twisted from birth”…. Those are quotes…those uh, those er…those are quotes….

Latest reveal! Includes God not just good…er, uh, real-ly, real-ly, real-ly to the infinite power good!… also that God is in-cred-ib-ly amazingly fantastically [under breath:] to the infinite power…. FUN-ny…. Actually hilarious… a “real riot”…quite the crackup….

Reports coming out saying, uh, He/She is infinitely fun to hang out with, nothing comparing to it, “you laugh your ass off!” is the quotes I’m hearin….and un-self-consciously silly beyond belief, beyond imagining…. Whew!!… aah….


Yea just like you, Katie, a real riot…and uh…yneh…SO MUCH so that reports are, “You won’t die laughing, because…he he…well, turns out…you can’t…uh, die, that is…but you’ll probably laugh so hard tears will be streaming down your cheeks…and uh…if so inclined, you may end up literally r-o-f-l-m-a-o…OR…r-o-f-l-o-ul…el uh ul…r-o-f-l-o-augh…. I, eh, ah…I always hada problem wit that, y’know, ever since, uh, ever since uh college, y’knowhaIme…. Why’dunt you say it, uh, KA-tie!

Katie: R-O-F-L-M-A-O…or…R-O-F-L-O-L

Studio Dave: Er, gad gadam er…gad dam er ex-er-cu-shun er uh art-tic-u-la-shun whadafuck er they called…art-tic-u-la-shun classes er something like that?… Any, way…. They’ll cut that out later….

[long pause]

WELL, not, ya oh…. r-o-f-l-m-a… well not literally for the “ass off” uh…hehu….but certainly for the “rolling on the floor”…huhu…and “good chance you’ll pee your pants” is what we’re hearing. Oh, uh, geez-uz…er uh we…. It turns out He/She is really, to the infinite. power good and is not offended that I just said tha…like so much so we question why we mentioned that, uh, y’know?

anywayu OK, AND more coming on this channel on these great developments, eh, right, Katie?

Katie: Ri-ight!

Studio Dave: Ok, so stay tuned and uh we’ll letcha know as more developments in the BIG reveal um, uh…(smack)…people are a jumpin outa buildings…uh…they’re sayin, uh “where the hell’s the hell?” and uh “If you can’t say ‘what the hell’ anymore…what the hell!” and uh

That’s some pretty weird, uh, suicide stuff, man, but y’know…

We’re hearin some stuff about some…we’re hearin some stuff about some things over the valley….some real-ly weird kinda, weird kinda cloud formations…and…I don’t know…I been hearin like teleportation and uh…ris-ing…er some…uh…I don’t know…I think maybe my producer…my producer’s had something in his uh…something in his drink cause this doesn’t make…this doesn’t make any sense…but uh…that’s all…I’m just readin it folks…it’s just a…something about over in the valley, and uh…we know that people a been jumpin outa buildings and uh, um, this other thing….

Ok, a’ll jest, uh…clouds. Y’know, uh, over the valley, and uh…kinda, even from afar, something about a…uh ris-ing uh…peo-ple? And uh, and uh, something coming outa the clouds… hehe…forget I said that folks, I’m ashamed, he…no I’m not ashamed…there’s no hell…. Ok! uh…so fuck yu all…hahahe…. Oh righ na…i my lose my job o’er that… SOR-ry! Eh, uh…I’ll be professional now. ok? [whispers to Katie]


OK, uh…till next time this has been uh…Dave, and Katie…giving you yer Great Reveal…wrap-up!…for the day!

G’night, Katie!

Katie: Good night, Dave.

Studio Dave: [normal voice] Whataya doin after the show, there, anyway?

Katie: Going out with some of the gals.

Dave: [scoffing] out wi some of the gals, hmph….I got a better idea, hu y’no

Katie: Hehe

Dave: Hu-hu!?

Katie: He he.

Dave: Hoo hoo

Katies: Hehe

Dave: Hey! I been known to…eh, y’know…I mean…I…I can provide references, eh, uh…y’know..uh….

Katie: He he. I’m sure you do….

Dave: All right, alright, aarrriiigghh….uhhh…aaarrhhiii

Katie: I’m sure you do…sure you got all kinds of chick out there just waitin for ya

Dave: ALLL RIIGGHHH…all riiighhh [sounding out Katie’s voice]

Katie: Just waitin for ya

Dave: Ah, yea, yea, yea… sarcasm will…

Katie: Have a good evening.

Dave: Yea, bye, bye, bye, Katie…I’ll try ya again tomorrow…

Katie: And don’t so brea…

Dave: [sounding over] I’LL TRY YA again tomorrow.

Katie: He he.

Dave: Good night.

Katie: Good , good night, Dave.

Dave: [under his breath] uuh-kay….

Continue with Funny God, Part One: SillyMickel Melts for God’s Crops and Revelations

Return to We Are All Turks Today and The Tao of Funny God: Why Turkey and What Andy Kaufman and the Turkish and Occupy Protesters Teach Us

The Great Reveal: Recalling the Riotous, Exciting First Days” – Comedic Re-enactment by SillyMickel and Mary Lynn Adzema

For the audio skit of this chapter click above for the link to the audio site…. or below on the audio player to listen to it here….
Image of The Great Reveal: Recalling the Riotous, Exciting First Days – Comedic Re-enactment by SillyMickel and Mary Lynn Adzema

“Breaking News: Hell Doesn’t Exist; God Is Really, Really Good!!!”

For a shorter clip 8-minute video-audio clip, cut from the larger 17-minute one of “Recalling Riotous, Exciting…” titled Breaking News: Hell Doesn’t Exist; God Is Really, Really Good!!! containing the heart of the skit….

Continue with Funny God, Part One: SillyMickel Melts for God’s Crops and Revelations

Return to We Are All Turks Today and The Tao of Funny God: Why Turkey and What Andy Kaufman and the Turkish and Occupy Protesters Teach Us

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